Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph given depicts the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy like healthcare, agriculture manufacturing and retail in United States in the year between 1960 to 2020.
overall, healthcare had the highest number of jobs for the end of the period while, agriculture remained relatively low throughout the time.
To begin with, in 1960, manufacturing provided about 15 million jobs, compared with approximately 8 million in retail and 3 million in agriculture respectively. Healthcare had around 6 million jobs. Moreover, by 1980, manufacturing had risen considerably to 20 million, making it the largest sector. In contrast, retail also increased to about 10 million jobs, while agriculture remained at around 3–4 million.
In addition, by 2020, manufacturing had fallen further to around 12 million jobs. Retail and healthcare were both among the largest employers, at approximately 15 million jobs each. Agriculture, however, declined to only about 1 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the rise and fall of manufacturing and the growth of healthcare. However, the task achievement is slightly limited by the lack of a clear comparison between the final figures for healthcare and retail in 2020, as you grouped them together rather than highlighting their specific trajectories. To reach a higher band, ensure that all key features are not only mentioned but also compared more analytically. The data points selected are accurate and relevant to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You used cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'In contrast' to guide the reader. However, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is slightly abrupt. Additionally, some referencing could be smoother; for example, the use of 'respectively' in the first body paragraph is slightly misused as it does not clearly map to the three sectors mentioned. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'provided', 'considerably', and 'declined' effectively. There are some minor inaccuracies, such as 'for the end of the period' (should be 'by the end') and the list in the introduction lacks proper punctuation (e.g., 'agriculture manufacturing and retail'). To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations related to data trends, such as 'peaked at' or 'experienced a downward trend'. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey meaning clearly, but it lacks the sophistication required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the grammar is generally clear, there are several punctuation and minor grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('in United States') and capitalization issues ('overall' at the start of a sentence). Some sentences are slightly repetitive in structure. To improve, focus on varying your sentence beginnings and ensuring consistent use of articles and prepositions. Despite these errors, the meaning is never obscured, and the control of basic structures is solid.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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