Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the US economy between the period of 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it is clear that the retail and healthcare sectors experienced a significant rise throughout the period of 1960 to 2020. However, the manufacturing sector declined steadily after 1980, while the agriculture sector dropped gradually over the period.
Looking first at the manufacturing and agriculture sectors, the manufacturing sector increased significantly in 1980 and jobs grew to 16 million. However, after 1980, it dropped steadily to 13 million jobs. The agriculture sector declined from 6 million to 2 million jobs between the period of 1960–2020.
Turning to the retail and healthcare sectors, both experienced a significant increase over the period 1960–2020. Both followed an upward trend and accounted for 16 million jobs.
Consequently, the retail and healthcare sectors increased significantly over the period, while the manufacturing sector declined after 1980. However, the agriculture sector experienced significant decline from 1960–2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, you mention that retail and healthcare 'accounted for 16 million jobs' at the end of the period, but the graph shows these figures are distinct. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing sector's peak in 1980 is accurate, but the overall summary could be improved by highlighting the relative scale of the sectors more clearly. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points cited are strictly accurate according to the visual information provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Looking first at', 'Turning to', and 'However' to guide the reader through the information. The progression of ideas is generally smooth. However, the final paragraph is somewhat repetitive, as it restates information already provided in the overview and body paragraphs without adding new insight. Improving the variety of linking phrases and avoiding redundant summaries would enhance the flow and cohesion of the essay.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'experienced a significant rise', 'declined steadily', and 'upward trend'. These are appropriate for describing trends in a graph. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. You tend to repeat the same phrases (e.g., 'significant increase/decline') multiple times. Incorporating more varied synonyms and precise collocations would help demonstrate a wider lexical range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'While the manufacturing sector declined steadily after 1980, the agriculture sector dropped gradually'. Most of your sentences are clear and error-free. There are minor issues with preposition usage, such as 'between the period of 1960 and 2020', which is slightly redundant; 'between 1960 and 2020' or 'during the period 1960–2020' would be more natural. Overall, your control of grammar is good, and errors do not impede communication.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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