Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph delineates the data regarding the proportion of occupations of usa economic sectors from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, The ecomy comprised on four major sectors in usa, Manufacturing sector was holding huge number of jobs in the beginning, the retail and healthcare occupations significantly increasing over the period. Whereas, agriculture remains the least occupied sector among all.
In 1960, Manufacturing had grown high. Commencing with 15 million jobs in 1960 and peaked to 20 million in 1980 which was the highest ever before experiencing to approximately 17 million in 2000 and 13 million 2020 respectively, while the agriculture sector considered the lowest occupied, begining from 6 million jobs in 1960 and dropped to 3 million in 1980 ,before it plateaued till 2000 observed a minor glitched to 2 million jobs.
The retail jobs starts from 6 million in 1960 and rose steadily to 10 million in 1980 , followed around 15 million in 2000 and culminated at 16 million approximately.The health care chasing the same trend as per retail sector , commence with 3 million jobs in 1960 and gain a peaked till 17 million , followed the hike with 5 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000 consecutively.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the overview is slightly weak as it lacks a clear summary of the most significant changes. There are some inaccuracies in data reporting; for example, stating that healthcare 'gained a peak till 17 million' is confusing, and the chronological sequencing of data is occasionally muddled. While the main features are selected, the lack of precision in describing the trends and the inclusion of some inaccurate figures prevent this from reaching a higher band. The response addresses the task requirements but needs more careful data interpretation.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the awkward use of 'whereas' and 'consecutively' at the end of sentences. The progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions between data points. While the overall arrangement is logical, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the occasional misuse of cohesive devices limit the flow of the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'holding huge number of jobs' and 'observed a minor glitched'. The student relies on basic verbs like 'grown', 'gain', and 'hike', which limits the ability to describe trends with nuance. While the meaning is generally clear, the limited range and occasional errors in word choice and collocation indicate a need for more academic vocabulary to describe statistical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('retail jobs starts'), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward sentence construction ('Manufacturing had grown high'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods and unnecessary commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader and demonstrate a lack of control over complex grammatical forms.
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