Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph illustrates the amount of workplace demand in four various sectors of the economy likely manufacturing, retail, agriculture and lastly healthcare in the States from 1960 to 2020.units of measurement is taken as millions.
Overall, it is evidently clear that while initially for a long period the highest opportunity for jobs was found in manufacturing, but later it was surpassed by the retail and agriculture sector. Whereas the demand in agriculture sector kept on declining throughout the years. Interestingly there has been a simultaneous gradual increase in both retail and healthcare.
On one hand, the employment rate in 1960 to 2000 was majorly in favour of manufacturing sector, then a slight decline between 2000 and 2020 can be observed as retail and healthcare took the lead through a gradual increase.
On the other hand, coincidently both retail and agriculture seem to have started at the same point but one of them has rocketed whilst the other had plummet. It can also be noticed that healthcare had less of a workforce requirement but ended up having a dramatic surge, levelling retail in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the trends, identifying the main features such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the analysis contains some inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the claim that manufacturing was surpassed by agriculture is not supported by the graph, as agriculture shows a consistent decline throughout the period. Additionally, the statement that retail and agriculture started at the same point is factually incorrect based on the visual data. While the main trends are identified, the lack of precision in reporting the data points and the misinterpretation of the sectors limit the score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand', although these are sometimes used mechanically or slightly inappropriately given the content. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Referencing is mostly clear, though the connection between the sentences in the final paragraph is slightly disjointed due to the inaccurate data interpretation.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts at more sophisticated terms like 'surpassed', 'simultaneous', and 'dramatic surge'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation. For example, 'amount of workplace demand' is slightly unnatural, and 'coincidently' is used incorrectly in this context. There are also minor errors in phrasing, such as 'levelling retail', which should be 'leveling with the retail sector'. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points but lacks the precision required for a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'units of measurement is taken as millions' (subject-verb agreement), 'the employment rate in 1960 to 2000 was majorly in favour' (prepositional error), and 'the other had plummet' (incorrect verb form). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some run-on sentences and missing articles. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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