Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in various sectors across the US from 1960 to 2020.

The line graph gives information about 4 major sectors of the economy, Such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare. At the end of 2020, the retail sector had the most jobs among all these sectors, while the agriculture sector had the fewest jobs. However, the manufacturing and healthcare sectors have a moderate level of jobs.

The number of jobs in the manufacturing sector in 1960 increased by 5 million. It faced a continuous fall from1980 till 2020.

In the retail sector, it also increased by 4 million, and in 1980 it increased by 5 million. This marked growth continued till it reached 17 million in 2020.

agriculture sector was falling continuously from 1960 to 2020.

While the healthcare sector faced a sudden rise in the opening of jobs throughout these years. it increased till reaches 15 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response identifies the main trends for the four sectors, but the analysis is inconsistent and lacks precision. While you mention the start and end points, the description of the trends is often vague or mathematically inaccurate (e.g., stating manufacturing 'increased by 5 million' in 1960, which is not supported by the data). The overview is present but lacks a clear synthesis of the most significant changes. To improve, ensure you accurately interpret the data points and focus on comparing the sectors rather than listing them individually. The report would benefit from a more structured approach to highlighting the key features, such as the dramatic decline in agriculture versus the steady growth in healthcare.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is somewhat disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and occasionally mechanical (e.g., 'However', 'While'). Some sentences feel disconnected, particularly the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence 'In the retail sector, it also increased...', where the pronoun 'it' lacks a clear antecedent. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words to show the relationship between the data points and ensure that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased' and 'falling' repeatedly. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'sudden rise in the opening of jobs', which is not the most natural way to describe employment trends. To reach a higher band, incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'gradual growth', or 'peaked'. Avoid repetitive phrasing and focus on using collocations that are appropriate for describing statistical data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder clarity. Issues include missing articles (e.g., 'agriculture sector'), incorrect verb tenses, and punctuation errors (e.g., 'till reaches 15 million'). Some sentences are fragmented or lack proper subject-verb agreement. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic errors such as capitalization after periods and consistent tense usage. Increasing the variety of complex structures, such as using relative clauses or participial phrases, would also help demonstrate better grammatical control.

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