Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

THIS LINE GRAPH ILLUSTRATES THAT US HAD BEEN THE MILLIONS OF JOBS AVAILABE IN FOUR SECTORS IN THE YEAR OF [redacted phone].

MANUFACTURING IS THE HIGHEST DEMANDING JOB OVER ALL THE SECTORS. IN 1960 IT HAD 15 MILLIONS WHILE, IN 1980 IT ROSE 20 MILLIONS. HOWEVER, IT SIGNIFICANTLY DECREASED TILL 2000 AND 2020.

HOWEVER, THE GRAPH OF RETAIL IS INCREASED GRADUALLY. IN 1960 IT WAS 6 MILLIONS WHERE AS IT ROSE AND REACHED 10 IN 1980. MOREOVER, IN 2000 AND 2020 IT WET TO 15 MILLIONS AND 16 MILLIONS RESPECTIVLY.

FURTHERMORE, IN 1960 AGRICULTURE HAD 6 MILLONS JOB OFFERS AND IT WENT DOWN TO 3 MILLIONS IN THE YEAR OF 1980. NUMBER OF JOBS AVAILABE IN 1980 AND 2000 WAS QUITE SAME IN AGRICULTURE FIELD. WHERE AS IN 2020 IT WENT MORE AND REACHED 2 MILLIONS.

DEMAND OF HEALTHCARE SECTORE IS INCREASED DRASTICALLY ALL OVER THE YEARS. IN 1960 AND 1980 DEMAND INCREASED AND WENT 3 TO 5 MILLIONS. IN 2000 IT ROSE AND REACHED 11 MILLIONS. MOREOVER, IN 2020 IT HAD SAME DEMAND AS RETAIL.

IN CONCLUSION, MANUFACTURING AND AGRICULTURE HAD NOT PROVIDED MORE JOBS AND WENT DOWN WHERE AS, RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE SECTORS PROVIDED MORE JOBS OVER TIMES. THOUGH THE HIGHTEST DEMANDING JOBS IN MANUFACTURING SECTORS TILL 2000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. However, the analysis is hampered by inaccuracies in data reporting. For example, you state that manufacturing 'significantly decreased till 2000 and 2020', but the data shows a more complex pattern. Furthermore, the claim that agriculture reached 2 million in 2020 is inaccurate based on the provided graph. The overview is weak, as it does not clearly highlight the most significant trends (e.g., the dramatic rise of healthcare versus the decline of manufacturing). To improve, ensure you carefully verify the data points and provide a more analytical summary of the overall trends rather than just listing figures.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'however', 'moreover', and 'furthermore' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as starting every paragraph with a transition word. Additionally, there are issues with referencing; for instance, 'it' is used frequently, but the antecedent is sometimes unclear. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the flow between sentences could be smoother to achieve a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased', 'went', and 'reached'. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'millions' (used incorrectly as a plural noun in this context), 'availabe', 'respectivly', and 'sectore'. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated reporting verbs (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surpassed') and ensure you use nouns correctly (e.g., '15 million' instead of '15 millions'). Expanding your range of collocations related to data trends will significantly enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include incorrect article usage (e.g., 'the US had been the millions'), subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'demand... is increased'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'the graph of retail is increased'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents a higher score. Focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage for describing past data.

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