Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrate the information related to numbers of jobs in four sectors manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare, in the US country more than half century.
Overall, jobs in retail and healthcare sectors increased with the time. In contrast, sectors in manufacturing and agriculture decreased over the 60 years time period.
In detail, economy sector like manufacturing jobs started with 15 millions in 1960 while sharply incline in 1980 with 20 millions. Whereas it was declined significantly nearly 13 millions in 2020. Moreover, jobs in retails started from roughly 7 millions and increased sharply with 15 millions in 2000 and reached at apporximetly 17 millions in 2020.
Furthermore, jobs in agriculture started from around 6 millions and finished with nearly 3 millions. Meanwhile, healthcare sector started to nearly 2 millions in 1960 and it had overtaken agriculture job sectors in year 1980 with 5 millions and reached at roughly 17 millions in year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the 60-year period. The overview is clear, highlighting the contrasting growth in retail/healthcare and the decline in manufacturing/agriculture. However, the report of the data is somewhat mechanical and lacks a more analytical approach to the comparisons. For instance, while the peak of manufacturing is noted, the relationship between the sectors could be better synthesised. The data points are generally accurate, though the description of the trends could be more precise to fully meet the requirements for a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' are used to link ideas, although some transitions feel slightly repetitive or mechanical. The progression of information is generally logical, moving from the overview to specific sector details. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different trends, which helps the reader follow the argument. To improve, the student should aim for a wider variety of linking phrases to ensure the flow is more natural.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to describe trends (e.g., 'sharply incline', 'declined significantly'). However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'US country', 'incline' used as a verb in this context, and 'reached at'. These errors do not impede communication, but they demonstrate a limited control over collocation and register. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to use more precise terminology for describing trends and avoid repetitive structures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('The given line graph illustrate'), missing articles ('in retail and healthcare sectors'), and incorrect preposition usage ('reached at'). While these errors are noticeable, they rarely prevent the reader from understanding the intended meaning. The student shows an attempt at complex sentences, but the accuracy is inconsistent. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors would significantly improve the score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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