Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph shows some information about the number of jobs in four different sectors of economy in the US in 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the jobs in healthcare are increasing continuously and the jobs in agriculture sector are decreasing every year.
To start with manufacturing, in 1960 there are 15 million jobs and in 1980 the number of jobs increase which is 20 million. In 2000 its jobs decreases and it continuously decreasing in 2020 which is only 13 million. The next one is Retail in 1960 its total number of jobs is 6 million and it increases continuously in 1980 and 2000. In 2020 the number of jobs in this sector of economy is 16 million. The second last is Agriculture sector in 1960 the number of jobs in this sector is 6 million and it start continuously decreasing in 1980 and 2000. In 2020 there are almost only 2.5 million jobs in this sector. The last one is Healthcare its jobs continuously start going upward from 1960 to 2020 in 2020 its total number of jobs are 16 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the overview is somewhat simplistic and lacks a clear synthesis of the data. While you mention that healthcare is increasing and agriculture is decreasing, you could improve by highlighting the most significant changes or comparing the final figures more effectively. The description of the data is generally accurate, but the report would benefit from more precise grouping of information rather than listing each sector sequentially. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview provides a more comprehensive summary of the overall trends rather than just stating two isolated facts.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'The next one is', 'The second last is', and 'The last one is' are used to transition between ideas, which makes the flow feel somewhat list-like rather than analytical. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and transition phrases to connect your sentences more naturally. Additionally, ensure that your paragraphing is balanced; currently, the second paragraph is quite dense compared to the introduction.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely heavily on basic verbs like 'increase', 'decrease', and 'going upward'. There is also some repetition of phrases such as 'number of jobs in this sector'. To achieve a higher band, you should incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined steadily', or 'remained stable'. Furthermore, ensure you use accurate terminology; for example, 'second last' is not the most appropriate way to introduce a category in an academic report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. For instance, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, such as 'in 1960 there are 15 million jobs' (should be 'were') and 'it start continuously decreasing' (should be 'started' or 'began'). Additionally, some sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, which affects clarity. To improve, focus on maintaining consistent verb tenses when discussing past data and ensure that your sentences are grammatically complete.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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