Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This multi-line graph illustrates a detailed information about employement across four sectors of economy that are Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Health care in the US for 6 decades from 1960 to 2020.

In the given figure at Y-axis there is number showing jobs in millions where as at X-axis there are years. The general trand of the graph shows that Heathcare and Retail have rose consistently from 1960 to 2020, it shows that in 1960 Healthcare sector has jobs very lesser than other sectors and in 2020 it booms to nearly 15 million job, and with retail sector it has peaked from 5million in1960 to 15 million in 2020. Beside aforementioned sector there is down fall in Agriculture sector, in 1960 it has 5 million number of jobs but in 2020 it has deceresed to half to this, apart from this Manufacturing sector has started to grow uniformly upto 5 million number from 1960 to 1920 but in late 1980 it started to fall and in 2020 it is around 12.5 million which means 50% of decresed was faced by this sector.

Overall, two of these sectors that are Healthcare and Retail has incresed considerably in 6 decades from [redacted phone], but other two sectors that are Agriculture and Manufacturing has decresed uniformly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For example, you state that the Manufacturing sector grew until 1920 (which is outside the timeframe) and that it decreased by 50% by 2020, which does not align with the graph. Additionally, the description of the Agriculture sector is slightly confusing. To improve, ensure that your data points are precise and that you double-check your interpretation of the graph's timeline and trends. While the main features are identified, the lack of precision in data reporting limits the score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into three paragraphs, including an introduction, a body paragraph, and an overview. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. For instance, the transition 'Beside aforementioned sector' is awkward. Furthermore, the overview is placed at the end, which is acceptable, but the connection between the body paragraph and the overview could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next will help elevate your score in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'consistently', 'booms', and 'aforementioned'. However, there are several spelling errors, such as 'employement', 'trand', 'Heathcare', 'deceresed', and 'incresed'. These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable. To reach a higher band, you should focus on accurate spelling and attempt to use more precise collocations when describing trends, such as 'experienced a downward trend' instead of 'down fall'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity, such as 'Heathcare and Retail have rose' (should be 'have risen') and 'jobs very lesser than' (should be 'fewer jobs than'). Subject-verb agreement and tense consistency are areas that require attention. While you attempt to use complex structures, the errors in basic grammar and punctuation are persistent. Focusing on proofreading for these common slips will significantly improve your accuracy.

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