Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The rendered line graph depicts the information pertaining to four different sectors avalability of jobs in us between the time frame of 1960 and 2020.
overall, it is evident that jobs related to manufacturing was at the peak among all which decrease overtime. Retaila and agriculture show continous rose.
To commence with, retail related jobs were only 5.2 million but with passing of time it show noticeable increase and reach its peak in 2020 with 15.2 million. Similarly, healthcare jobs also great rose which start from the least 2.5 million to the same number of retail.
moving towards remaining details, manufacturing jobs where the highest in 1960 compare to others and show rose of 5 million in 1980 after that it show contionous decrease . Whereas, the most steady decrease seen in agriculture which was 5.2 at starting which fell upto year 1980 and stay constant for 2 decades and lastly show marinal decrease of one million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the overview is somewhat underdeveloped and contains inaccuracies; for instance, stating manufacturing was at the 'peak among all' in 1960 is correct, but claiming it 'decreased overtime' is a broad generalization that misses the initial growth phase. Furthermore, the data reporting is occasionally imprecise, such as the vague reference to 'the same number of retail' for healthcare. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview highlights the most significant trends clearly and that data points are cited with greater accuracy.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'To commence with' and 'moving towards remaining details' are used, but the internal flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed. For example, the transition between the description of retail and healthcare is abrupt. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to track which data points belong to which sector. Improving the variety and precision of linking words would significantly enhance the logical progression of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'rose', 'increase', and 'decrease'. There are several spelling errors, such as 'avalability', 'Retaila', 'continous', and 'marinal', which occasionally distract the reader. The range of vocabulary is just adequate to convey the main points, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, you should incorporate more varied synonyms for trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surged') and ensure correct spelling of basic terminology related to data description.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'jobs... was', 'it show'), missing articles, and incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'which start from'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with capitalization and comma usage. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would help improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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