Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph depicts the data about The numerous employment in four sectors of the economy in the US between the era of 1960 and 2020.

Overall, It can be seen that two of them increased gradually and least of other decreased by the time.

To begin with, In 1960 retail market and agriculture market of employer were at the similar stage, but the change can seen that till 2020 came one of them gradually increased and other one decreased. Furthermore, In the middle of period it can be seen that the retail market and healthcare market employer increased but the healthcare market increased drastically.

On the other hand, In 2020 retail market and healthcare remain same as middle period and manufacturing area decreased in the 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified the main sectors, the description of the data is vague and lacks specific numerical detail. For example, you mention that the healthcare market increased 'drastically' but do not provide any data points from the graph to support this. To improve, you must include specific figures (e.g., millions of jobs) and clearly compare the trends between the four sectors throughout the period. The summary is currently too brief to fully address the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by the lack of detail and some awkward phrasing. While you use basic cohesive devices like 'To begin with' and 'On the other hand', the progression of ideas is disjointed. The reference to 'middle of period' is imprecise, and the connections between sentences are often mechanical. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that you use a wider variety of linking words to connect your observations more smoothly. The current structure feels repetitive and lacks the necessary depth to create a cohesive report.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use the word 'market' and 'employer' incorrectly in contexts where 'sector' or 'jobs' would be more appropriate. Phrases like 'at the similar stage' and 'by the time' are unnatural and imprecise. There is little evidence of less common lexical items or precise terminology related to describing trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'plateaued', 'surpassed'). To improve, focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary for describing graphs and avoid repeating the same basic nouns and verbs throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with article usage ('the retail market'), subject-verb agreement ('retail market and healthcare remain same'), and sentence structure ('the change can seen that'). The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. You should aim to incorporate more complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions, and pay closer attention to basic grammar rules like pluralisation and verb tense consistency. Proofreading for these common errors is essential.

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