Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This diagram illustrates the massive number of vacancies in four sections of the financial system in the United States at 1960 to 2020.

Firstly, The High demanding job in 1960 era was manufactured almost 15 millions gigs in contrast very poor positions was an agricultures. After passing some years manufacturing work significant rose about 20 millions but, economy of retail had also gradually increase in 10 millions as well as healthcare sector positions were swiftly surged at 5 millions at the opposite of agricultures dropped approximately 4 millions at 1980's.

To commence with, after 2 years agricultures and retail branches occupations had massively increased however manufacturing department gradually fell about 12 millions positions but agriculture part were same as last years.

At last, Retail and healthcare zones were increased as well as same level employments in contrast agriculture moreover manufacturing had dropped like past year.

Conclusion: Retail and healthcare blocks work started at very lower level but after passing some years they marvelous top of the list other two sectors manufacturing and agriculture faced crises, most of the population unemployed because of lack of jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the task but fails to provide a clear or accurate summary of the data. The description of the trends is confusing, and the figures mentioned (e.g., '15 millions gigs', '20 millions') do not align with standard graph interpretation. The conclusion introduces external information not present in the graph, such as 'most of the population unemployed', which is a significant error in task completion. The main features are not clearly identified, and the comparison between sectors is poorly executed, leading to a lack of clarity regarding the actual trends over the 60-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or incorrect, such as 'To commence with' used mid-essay and 'At last' to introduce a paragraph. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the four sectors. The transition between ideas is abrupt, and the overall structure lacks the necessary cohesion to present the information in a professional, academic manner.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and often inappropriate for an academic report. There are frequent errors in word choice, such as 'vacancies' instead of 'jobs', 'gigs' instead of 'jobs', and 'financial system' instead of 'economy'. The phrasing is often unnatural, and the student struggles to use precise terminology to describe trends (e.g., 'swiftly surged at 5 millions'). The repetition of basic words and the misuse of technical terms significantly hinder the clarity of the report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('manufacturing work significant rose'), incorrect preposition usage ('at 1960 to 2020'), and fragmented or run-on sentences. The attempt to use complex structures often results in errors that distort the intended meaning. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and apostrophes. The range of structures is limited, and the high frequency of errors makes the text difficult to read.

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