Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates changes in the numbers of jobs, measured in millions, across four sectors of US economy, manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare between 1960 to 2020.
Overall, manufacturing and agriculture followed a declining trajectory over the period, while retail and healthcare substantial growth, with healthcare becoming the dominating sector by 2020.
In 1960, manufacturing was the largest sector, employing around 15 million and its rose further to peak at approximately 20 million by 1980. However, to onward this point, manufacturing enter to steady decline to 12 million in 2000 and continuously drop to 9 million by 2020.
Agriculture, Meanwhile, started at the low level of about 6 million in 1960 and decline consistently throughout the period, reaching just at 2 million by 2020, making the smallest sector by end of period.
in contrast, retail and healthcare both expanded considerably. Retail jobs grew from 6 million in 1960 and around 14 million in 2000 before raising slightly further to about 16 million in 2020. healthcare showed dramatic transformation, increasing from 2 million by 1960 to roughly 15 million by 2020, overtaking manufacturing sector and match with retail as two two largest employment sectors by end of year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the overall trends and specific data points for the four sectors. You successfully identified the declining sectors (manufacturing and agriculture) and the growing ones (retail and healthcare). The overview is clear and highlights the main shift in the economy. However, there are minor inaccuracies in data reporting; for instance, you mention manufacturing peaked at 20 million by 1980, while the graph shows it peaking closer to 19 million. Additionally, the description of the final year data is slightly imprecise. Despite these minor issues, the main trends are well-supported and the task is fully addressed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'In 1960', 'However', 'Meanwhile', and 'In contrast' to guide the reader through the data. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the declining sectors from the growing ones. While the flow is generally good, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are occasional issues with referencing, such as 'to onward this point' which is non-standard. Overall, the information is presented in a clear, logical progression that is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'declining trajectory', 'steady decline', 'dramatic transformation', and 'overtaking'. There are some instances of awkward phrasing or word choice, such as 'the dominating sector' (should be 'the dominant sector') and 'match with retail' (should be 'matched retail'). Additionally, there are minor errors in word formation, such as 'raising' instead of 'rising'. While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication and you show an ability to use topic-specific vocabulary effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly with verb tenses and prepositions. Examples include 'its rose further' (should be 'it rose'), 'manufacturing enter to steady decline' (should be 'entered a steady decline'), and 'making the smallest sector' (should be 'making it the smallest sector'). There are also missing articles and punctuation issues. While the meaning remains clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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