Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The following data demonstrate the information about the united states jobs numbers characterised in to four parts in the year of 1960 and 2020.
The retail sector secure the highest range in the graph starting from 6 million jobs to more than 15 million jobs in 2020, where as The healthcare sector started a slow start of 2 million job in 1960 but later rose to almost the same range of retail that is 15 million jobs in 2020.
On the other hand the remaining sectors that are manufacturing and agriculture illustrate a drastic downfall of both sectors. In the start of 1960 both started with great numbers but in the year of 1980 there is clear drops in the numbers. However, agriculture sector job numbers remain stable throughout the years of 1980 to 2020 but the manufacturing sectors faces more drop in jobs from 20 million jobs in 1980 to almost 13 million jobs in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response identifies the main trends for the four sectors, but the analysis is somewhat superficial and contains inaccuracies. For instance, you state the healthcare sector reached 15 million jobs in 2020, which is a significant overestimation based on typical data for this task. Furthermore, the description of the manufacturing sector's starting point in 1960 is imprecise. While you cover all four sectors, the lack of precise data reporting and the inclusion of inaccurate figures prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure you carefully extract and verify the specific data points from the graph to support your comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into three paragraphs, which is a logical structure for a report. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as 'where as' and 'In the start of 1960'. The transition between the description of the retail/healthcare sectors and the manufacturing/agriculture sectors is functional but could be smoother. Referencing is generally clear, but the flow of ideas is occasionally interrupted by grammatical errors that make the progression of information feel slightly disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on basic descriptors like 'great numbers' and 'drastic downfall'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'secure the highest range' and 'started a slow start'. These errors do not impede communication, but they limit the range of vocabulary displayed. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'experienced a significant decline', and ensure collocations are natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('The retail sector secure', 'manufacturing sectors faces') and incorrect preposition usage ('characterised in to', 'in the year of 1960'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors is noticeable and affects the overall fluency of the writing. Focusing on basic subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage would significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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