Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of occupations (in million) in four (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) different sectors in the United States Economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the retail and agriculture sectors rose significantly throughout the years, but healthcare and manufacturing sectors reduced the number of job positions available in between 19960 to 2020.
At the begening, the manufacturing sector was started with 15 mililions and it was the largest available job category before 2000, and then increased the number until year 1980, then dropped down approximately 12 million by 2020.The peak of the manufacturing sector was in year 1980. Retail and agriculture sector started with the same number of jobs it's about approximately 6 million. Then retail sector significantly increase the jib posissions, but agriculture sector dropped down . At the end of 200. the highest job opportunities could be found from retail and health care sectors.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but there are significant inaccuracies in the reporting of data. For example, you state that the retail sector increased significantly, while the graph shows agriculture declining and retail rising; however, your summary of the manufacturing trend is confused, and you incorrectly identify the peak year and the final values. The overview is present but contains factual errors regarding the trends of the four sectors. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your descriptions with the visual data provided to avoid misrepresenting the information.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by confusing sentence structures and inaccurate data reporting. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'At the beginning' and 'Then', but they are often mechanical or misused. The referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when discussing the sectors, which makes the flow of information difficult to follow. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each sentence clearly connects to the previous one to build a coherent argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are several spelling errors, such as 'begening', 'mililions', and 'posissions', which detract from the clarity of the writing. While you attempt to use sector-specific terms like 'manufacturing' and 'agriculture', the lack of precision in describing trends (e.g., 'dropped down') limits your score. To improve, focus on learning collocations for describing graphs, such as 'witnessed a steady decline' or 'experienced a sharp increase', and proofread your work to eliminate basic spelling mistakes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement, incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'was started'), and awkward phrasing. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods and incorrect capitalization. These errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding of the data. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring consistent tense usage when describing historical data. Reviewing your work for subject-verb agreement will also help significantly.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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