Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The graph illustrates data about the number of jobs, measured in millions, in four distinct sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs continuously increased in retail and healthcare sectors, while employment decreased in agriculture field throughout the period. In addition, the number of jobs fluatuated in the manufacturing sector between 1960 and 2020.
As for the manufacturing sector, the number of jobs stood at 15 million in 1960, and then rose to 20 million in 1980. Moreover, the number of jobs dropped to 17 millions in 2000 and around 14 millions in 2020, respectively. Turning to the retail sector, the number of jobs was approximately 6 million in 1960, and then rose to 10 million in 1980. After the two decades, the employment surged to 15 millions and slightly increased to 16 million in 2020.
Turning to the healthcare field, the figure stood at around 3 million in 1960, and then marginally increased to 5 million in 1980. By 2000, the employment dramatically soared to around 12 million, and then climbed to 15 million in 2020. With respect to the agriculture sector, the number of jobs was around 6 million in 1960, and then dipped to 3.5 million in 1980 and remained constant in 2020. By 2020, the emploment slightly decreased to 2 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the main trends. Key features are identified, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture. However, the data reporting is slightly inconsistent; for example, the description of the agriculture sector is confusing, stating it 'remained constant in 2020' and then immediately stating it 'slightly decreased to 2 million' in the same year. Additionally, the use of 'millions' as a plural noun after a specific number (e.g., '17 millions') is a recurring error that affects the precision of the data presentation.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Turning to', 'Moreover', and 'In addition' are used effectively to guide the reader through the data. Paragraphing is appropriate, and there is a clear progression of ideas. While the transition between sentences is generally smooth, the internal consistency of the data reporting in the final paragraph slightly disrupts the flow of information. Overall, the structure is coherent and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts at descriptive verbs like 'surged', 'soared', and 'dipped'. However, there are consistent errors in pluralization, specifically adding an 's' to 'million' when it follows a number (e.g., '17 millions', '15 millions'). There is also a spelling error ('fluatuated') and a minor typo ('emploment'). While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Using more precise collocations would improve the lexical quality.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is good control over basic grammar, and the meaning is generally clear. However, there are recurring grammatical inaccuracies, particularly regarding the pluralization of 'million' and minor errors in preposition usage and article placement. Some sentences are slightly repetitive in structure. While the errors are noticeable, they do not cause difficulty for the reader or impede the overall understanding of the trends presented in the graph.
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