Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph provide the details regarding number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in united states between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the four categories was Manufacturing, Retail, Agricultural and Healthcare. All these sectors, show the fluctuation between all these years. In 1980, manufacturing was on its peak that was 20,000 jobs in millions and at the same time other three were in there downfall then manufacturing.

In manufacturing; during 1960s, they were 15000 millions, in 1980s; 20,000 millions, in 2000s;17000 million, in 2020s; 13000 millions.

In Retail; during 1960s, they were 6000 millions, in 1980s; 10,000 millions, in 2000s;12000 million, in 2020s; 16000 millions.

In Agriculture; during 1960s, they were 6000 millions, in 1980s; 4,000 millions, in 2000s;4000 million, in 2020s; 3000 millions.

In Healthcare; during 1960s, they were 3000 millions, in 1980s; 5000 millions, in 2000s;11000 million, in 2020s; 16000 millions.

The healthcare sector, steadily increases its number in jobs and in 2020 it was on 16000 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response identifies the main trends and provides data points for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat mechanical, relying heavily on listing data rather than synthesising information. The overview is present but lacks clarity, and there are inaccuracies in the data reporting (e.g., the scale of 'millions' is used incorrectly, as the graph likely refers to thousands or a different unit, and the figures cited are inconsistent with standard graph interpretation). To reach a higher band, focus on grouping trends (e.g., sectors that increased vs. those that declined) rather than listing each category individually.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is repetitive and mechanical, particularly the repetitive sentence structure 'In [sector]; during [year], they were...'. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas, such as 'In contrast,' 'Conversely,' or 'Following a similar trend,' to create a more fluid progression of information.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks range and precision. There is a reliance on basic verbs like 'show' and 'increases'. Furthermore, there is a significant issue with the use of 'millions' as a unit, which is likely inaccurate based on the provided graph context. To improve, incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' 'experienced a downward trend,' or 'remained stable,' and ensure that units of measurement are used correctly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('The line graph provide', 'the four categories was'), incorrect preposition usage ('in united states'), and awkward phrasing ('in there downfall then manufacturing'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the lack of control over basic sentence structures and punctuation limits the score. Focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions to improve accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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