Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The supplied line graph enumerates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, varying from the year 1960 to 2020. The data is measured in the millions.

Overall, it is quite evident that the retail and the healthcare both were represented for the highest proportion, while the agriculture field was calculated for the lowest one. Furthermore, a significant downturn in the proportion of manufacturing was observed over the given period.

It is conspicuous that the manufacturing field stood at the highest in the initial year, with 15 million. However, it elevated from 15 to 20 millions in 1980. But it slipped from the peak position to second last position in the final year, with 12 million. It can be seen that the retail and the agriculture both started from the same quantity, with 6 million, in 1960. After that year, both took different paths where the retail rocketed to 16 million in the final year, meanwhile the agriculture field took a down fall from 6 to 2 million in the final year, 2020. It took the lowest position in the list of jobs in four sectors. The agriculture gradually decreased their economy before reaching at 2 million. It maintained its economy level in the time period of 1980 to 2000. Whereas the retail rapidly improved its economy level. It can be observed that the healthcare stood at the lower position in 1960, with 3 million. Moreover, a significant upturn was observed in the healthcare field. In the final year, it stood at the highest position, with 16 million. The healthcare and the retail both followed the same pattern in the list of different jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the analysis is somewhat marred by inaccurate reporting of the data. For instance, you state that manufacturing stood at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, but the graph shows it starting at roughly 17 million and peaking around 20 million. Furthermore, describing the retail and healthcare sectors as following the 'same pattern' is an over-generalisation, as their growth rates and starting points differ significantly. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are read with greater precision and that comparisons are more nuanced.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'However', and 'Meanwhile' to link sentences. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'In the final year' and 'it stood at'. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by varying the structure of your cohesive devices to avoid a list-like quality. Overall, the information is easy to follow, and the paragraphing is appropriate for an Academic Task 1 response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using words like 'enumerates', 'conspicuous', 'proportion', and 'rocketed'. However, there are instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'calculated for the lowest one', 'decreased their economy', and 'improved its economy level'. These phrases are not standard when discussing economic sectors or employment figures. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, the lack of precision in these collocations prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on learning how specific verbs and nouns collocate in the context of data reporting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'It can be seen that the retail and the agriculture both started from the same quantity'. While many sentences are clear, there are several grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'the retail and the healthcare both were represented for the highest proportion' (passive voice error) and 'the agriculture gradually decreased their economy' (incorrect pronoun usage). Punctuation is generally fine, but there are minor errors in article usage and subject-verb agreement. The errors do not impede communication, but they are frequent enough to limit the score to a 6.0.

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