Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The supplied line graph enumerates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The data is measured in millions. Overall, it is quite evident that retail and healthcare both were represented by the highest proportion, while the agriculture field was accounted for the lowest one. Furthermore, a significant downturn in the proportion of manufacturing was observed over the given period. It is conspicuous that the manufacturing field stood at the highest in the initial year, with 15 million. However, it elevated from 15 to 20 millions in 1980. But it slipped from the peak position to the second-to-last position in the final year, with 12 million. It can be seen that the retail and the agriculture both started from the same quantity, with 6 million, in 1960. After that year, both took different paths where the retail rocketed to 16 million in the final year, meanwhile the agriculture field took a downfall from 6 to 2 million in the final year, 2020. It took the lowest position in the list of jobs in four sectors. The agriculture gradually decreased their economy before reaching at 2 million. It maintained its economy level in the time period of 1980 to 2000. Whereas the retail rapidly improved its economy level. It can be observed that the healthcare stood at the lower position in 1960, with 3 million. Moreover, a significant upturn was observed in the healthcare field. In the final year, it stood at the highest position, with 16 million. The healthcare and the retail both followed the same pattern in the list of different jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the period. You successfully highlighted the contrast between the growth in retail/healthcare and the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, the overview is slightly cluttered by including specific data points (e.g., '15 million'), which should be reserved for the body paragraphs. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview focuses strictly on the most significant trends and general patterns rather than specific figures. The description of the data is generally accurate, though the claim that retail and healthcare 'followed the same pattern' is a bit of an oversimplification given their different starting points and trajectories.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized logically, moving from an introduction to an overview and then into specific details. You use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore', 'However', and 'Meanwhile' to link ideas. However, the paragraphing is weak; the entire body of the report is contained in one long paragraph, which hinders readability. Additionally, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'In the final year'. Improving the use of paragraph breaks to separate distinct trends would significantly enhance the flow and logical progression of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'enumerates', 'downturn', 'conspicuous', and 'rocketed'. There are some instances of awkward phrasing or word choice, such as 'maintained its economy level' and 'the agriculture gradually decreased their economy', which are not standard collocations in this context. You are attempting to use less common vocabulary, which is good, but you need to ensure these words are used in the correct context to avoid confusion. Focusing on precise collocations related to data trends will help improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'retail and healthcare both were represented by the highest proportion' (passive voice misuse) and 'the agriculture field was accounted for the lowest one'. There are also minor errors with articles and pluralization, such as '20 millions'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive versus active voice would be beneficial.

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