Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph provides the details regarding the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in United States between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the four categories was Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare. All these sectors show, the fluctuation between all these years. In 1980, manufacturing was at its peak that was 20,000 jobs in millions and at the same time other three were in their downfall than manufacturing.
In manufacturing; during 1960s, there were 15000 millions, in 1980s; 20,000 millions, in 2000s;17000 million, in 2020s; 13000 millions.
In Retail; during 1960s, there were 6000 millions, in 1980s; 10,000 millions, in 2000s;12000 million, in 2020s; 16000 millions.
In Agriculture; during 1960s, there were 6000 millions, in 1980s; 4,000 millions, in 2000s;4000 million, in 2020s; 3000 millions.
In Healthcare; during 1960s, there were 3000 millions, in 1980s; 5000 millions, in 2000s;11000 million, in 2020s; 16000 millions.
The healthcare sector, steadily increased its number in jobs and in 2020 it was on 16000 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response identifies the four sectors and provides data points for each. However, the report lacks a clear overview of the main trends, such as the significant growth in healthcare versus the decline in agriculture. The data presentation is overly mechanical, relying on a list-like structure rather than synthesizing information. Furthermore, the figures provided are inaccurate (e.g., stating '15000 millions' for 1960, which is a massive exaggeration of the scale). To improve, focus on identifying key trends and grouping information logically rather than listing every data point for every decade, which makes the report repetitive and difficult to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the internal structure is weak. The body paragraphs consist of a repetitive list of data points for each sector, which lacks logical progression or cohesive flow. There is a lack of linking words to connect the ideas; for example, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. The use of punctuation is also problematic, particularly the inconsistent use of semicolons and commas in the data lists. To improve, use transition signals like 'In contrast,' 'Conversely,' or 'Meanwhile' to link ideas and create a more cohesive narrative.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. Phrases such as 'there were... millions' are used repeatedly, which hinders the fluency of the response. There is also a lack of precise terminology for describing trends; for instance, instead of 'downfall,' words like 'decline' or 'downward trend' would be more appropriate. The misuse of 'millions' as a unit for the data points (which are likely in thousands or millions, but the scale is misinterpreted) suggests a lack of precision. Expanding your range of verbs and nouns to describe data movement (e.g., 'surged,' 'plummeted,' 'remained stable') is essential for a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the four categories was') and incorrect sentence structures. The use of semicolons is often misused, and there are errors in pluralization and preposition usage (e.g., 'in 2020 it was on 16000 millions'). While some simple sentences are clear, the attempt at more complex structures is limited and often results in errors. Focusing on basic sentence construction and ensuring subject-verb agreement will help improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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