Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph provide the details regarding number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in united states between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the four categories was Manufacturing, Retail, Agricultural and Healthcare. All these sectors show, the fluctuation between all these years. In 1980, manufacturing was on its peak that was 20,000 jobs in millions and at the same time other three were in there downfall then manufacturing.
In manufacturing; during 1960s, they were 15000 millions, in 1980s; 20,000 millions, in 2000s;17000 million, in 2020s; 13000 millions.
In Retail; during 1960s, they were 6000 millions, in 1980s; 10,000 millions, in 2000s;12000 million, in 2020s; 16000 millions.
In Agriculture; during 1960s, they were 6000 millions, in 1980s; 4,000 millions, in 2000s;4000 million, in 2020s; 3000 millions.
In Healthcare; during 1960s, they were 3000 millions, in 1980s; 5000 millions, in 2000s;11000 million, in 2020s; 16000 millions.
The healthcare sector, steadily increases its number in jobs and in 2020 it was on 16000 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response identifies the main features of the graph, such as the trends in manufacturing and healthcare. However, the analysis is largely a list of data points rather than a synthesis of trends. The overview is weak, as it incorrectly states that all sectors show fluctuation, whereas healthcare shows a clear, steady upward trend. Furthermore, the data reporting is inaccurate; for example, stating '15000 millions' is a significant error in scale, as the graph likely refers to thousands or millions of jobs, not billions. To improve, focus on grouping trends and comparing sectors rather than listing every data point for every decade.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and repetitive, relying heavily on 'In [sector]; during [time]'. There is a lack of linking words to connect ideas within sentences or between paragraphs. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed because the information is presented as a list of statistics rather than a cohesive narrative of economic change. Improving the variety of transition signals and using referencing (e.g., 'this figure', 'the former', 'the latter') would improve the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'on its peak', 'in there downfall', and 'steadily increases its number in jobs' are either grammatically incorrect or unnatural. The student relies on basic terminology and struggles with collocations. The repeated use of 'millions' after every figure is also stylistically poor and inaccurate in context. To reach a higher band, the student should use a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, such as 'peaked at', 'experienced a decline', 'showed a consistent upward trajectory', and 'surpassed'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Subject-verb agreement is often incorrect, such as 'The line graph provide' and 'the four categories was'. Punctuation is also problematic, with unnecessary semicolons used incorrectly (e.g., 'In manufacturing; during 1960s'). The sentence structures are simple and repetitive, lacking the complexity required for higher bands. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction limits the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct punctuation would be a good starting point for improvement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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