Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This line graph shows the number of jobs between 1960 and 2020 in four sectors of the economy in US. Overall, the retail sector sharply increased and agriculture sector dramatically decreased and then level off.

From 1960 to 1980, manufacturing sector increased dramatically,20 million jobs were available till the end of 1980 after 1980 it starts decreasing steeply moreover almost 13 million jobs were available in 2020. From 1960 the retail sector rose sharply and the number of jobs jumped from 5 million to almost 16 million in 2020.In 1960 the number of jobs in agriculture sector fall steeply and then level off till 2020.The healthcare sector increased dramatically during 1960 and 1980.After 1980 it increased sharply till 2020 and the number of jobs rise from 3 million to almost 16 million

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified the main trends for the four sectors, the analysis is somewhat superficial. You have provided some data points, but the lack of sufficient length means the overview is underdeveloped. To improve, ensure you provide a more detailed comparison between the sectors and include a clear, distinct overview paragraph that highlights the most significant trends across the entire period. The current response is too brief to fully satisfy the requirements of an Academic Task 1 report.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay lacks a clear paragraph structure, which makes the progression of ideas feel disjointed. You have grouped some information, but the lack of a proper introduction and a clear separation between the overview and the body paragraphs hinders readability. Cohesive devices are used sparingly and sometimes mechanically (e.g., 'moreover', 'and then'). To improve, use more varied linking words to connect your ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus. The current structure is too compressed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logical flow of the data analysis.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task but remains quite repetitive. You rely heavily on basic verbs like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'rose'. While these are accurate, using a wider range of synonyms would demonstrate better control. For example, you could use 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'remained stable'. There are also some minor collocation issues, such as 'level off' (should be 'leveled off' to match the past tense context). Expanding your range of descriptive adverbs and verbs will help you achieve a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly regarding tense consistency and article usage. For instance, you shift between present and past tenses (e.g., 'starts decreasing' instead of 'started decreasing'). There are also missing articles, such as 'in US' (should be 'in the US') and 'in agriculture sector' (should be 'in the agriculture sector'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence structure limit your score. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage.

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