Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph demonstrates how many jobs were divided into four different sectors in US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Healthcare sector stood out as having the highest number of jobs. Conversely, agriculture and manufacturing domain showed decrease throughout the whole period with a small pick in manufacture. however, Retail field showed significant growth.
At first focusing on manufacture field, which started with the highest number of emplyment with 15 million which started to drop from 1980 with a small rise, it has 20 million workers in 1980, 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020 respectively. Agriculture field started with having 6 million works and ended up with having nearly two million employment, which showed a dramatic declined in popularity.
Additionally, Healthcare segment improved a lot , started with 3 million jobs and by 2020 it ended up with the highest workers which represents 5 million, 12 million and 16 million respectively throughout the period. Lastly, retail industry also increased a lot, at first it had 6 million jobs after getting continuous growth it reached over 15 million.
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AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector is confusing, mentioning '15 million' then '20 million' in a way that contradicts the visual data. The overview is present but lacks clarity regarding the overall shift from primary/secondary to tertiary sectors. To improve, ensure that the data points cited are precise and that the comparison between sectors is more clearly structured to highlight the contrasting trends between the declining sectors (agriculture/manufacturing) and the growing ones (healthcare/retail).
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or misused, such as the awkward transition 'At first focusing on manufacture field'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the paragraph discussing healthcare, where the list of numbers ('5 million, 12 million and 16 million') is not clearly linked to specific years or trends. Improving the flow between sentences and using a wider range of linking words would enhance the logical progression of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'small pick in manufacture' (likely meaning 'peak') and '6 million works' (should be 'workers'). The repetition of 'improved a lot' and 'increased a lot' limits the lexical range. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'experienced a steady upward trajectory', and ensure correct word forms are used consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'Healthcare sector stood out as having' (missing article 'the'), 'agriculture and manufacturing domain showed decrease' (missing article 'a'), and 'dramatic declined' (incorrect verb form). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with issues regarding comma usage and capitalization after periods. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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