Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrate the, number of job's in US in four different sectors from year [redacted phone].
An overall analysis, shows that in US Retail and Healthcare are the two sectors which have largest numbers of jobs as compare to other from year [redacted phone].
In the case of Retail, there were only 5 jobs in million in the year 1960. While it increased and reached to 15 jobs in millions in next 40 years from [redacted phone], and it slightly increased in the year 2020 and reached to more then 15 jobs in million. Secondly, In case of Healthcare, there were more then 0 jobs in millions in year 1960 which then rose to 5 jobs in millions. while it surged continuously in the year 1980 till 2020 and it reached to more then 15 jobs in millions.
In case of economy of Manufacturing, it have 15 jobs in millions in year 1960 , Which rose to 20 jobs in millions in the year 1980. However it reduced to less then 15 jobs in millions from [redacted phone]. In the economy of Agriculture, there was almost 5 jobs in millions in the year 1960, While it decreased between 5-0 and it remain constant till year 2000. And it goes slightly downward in year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in Healthcare and the decline in Agriculture. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, stating 'there were more then 0 jobs' is vague and does not accurately reflect the graph. Additionally, the description of the Retail sector is confusing, as the data points are not clearly linked to the specific years provided in the prompt. To improve, ensure that key figures are cited accurately and that the overview provides a clearer summary of the most significant changes rather than just listing individual sector movements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'In case of' to start new paragraphs. The progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing, making the connection between sentences feel disjointed. While the overall arrangement is logical, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the repetitive sentence starters limit the flow. Improving the variety of transition signals would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of incorrect word choice or collocation, such as 'jobs in million' instead of 'millions of jobs' and 'economy of Manufacturing' instead of 'manufacturing sector'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic verbs like 'increased' and 'rose' repeatedly. To achieve a higher score, you should incorporate more varied terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and ensure that units of measurement are expressed accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('it have 15 jobs'), incorrect preposition usage, and persistent punctuation errors, such as unnecessary commas ('illustrate the, number'). Furthermore, the misuse of 'then' instead of 'than' occurs multiple times. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and common homophone errors would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.