Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph present the data about the numbers of employment in ( manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) sectors of the economy in the US form 1960 to 2020.
Overall, over the period of time healthcare and retail sectors have secure more jobs than manufacturing and agriculture sector. The jobs in healthcare sector have a increasing trend form the beginning of the period.
At the beginning of the period, in the healthcare sector the jobs were only 2 million but at the end of the period the jobs were largely increase form 2million to 15million. In retail sector also there was a increasing trend the jobs were goes form about 6 million to more than 15 million which is also greatly increase.
Both manufacturing and retail sector faced downward trend, in manufacturing sector the jobs were highest at 1960 but in 2020 the number of job decrease from 15 million to about 13 million. The jobs in agriculture sector were 6 million at the beginning of the period but at the end of the period there were only 2 million job in this sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you state that the manufacturing sector faced a downward trend and decreased from 15 million to 13 million, whereas the graph shows a different trajectory. Additionally, you incorrectly group manufacturing with retail as having a downward trend, which contradicts the visual data. While the overview is present, the lack of precision in reporting the figures and the misinterpretation of the trends prevent this from reaching a higher band. To improve, ensure you double-check the data points against the graph axes before writing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'at the beginning of the period' and 'at the end of the period' are used frequently, which makes the flow feel a bit stilted. Furthermore, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, the lack of varied linking words and occasional awkward phrasing in the transitions limits the score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely heavily on basic terms such as 'increase', 'decrease', and 'jobs'. There are also some collocation errors, such as 'secure more jobs' instead of 'accounted for more jobs' and 'largely increase' instead of 'increased significantly'. While the meaning is generally clear, the vocabulary is not sufficiently sophisticated or varied to demonstrate a higher level of lexical control. Incorporating more precise reporting verbs and adverbs would enhance your writing significantly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'The line graph present', 'jobs were goes') and incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'jobs were largely increase'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of parentheses and commas. While you attempt some complex sentence structures, they are often marred by these errors, which occasionally impede the reader's understanding. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that your verbs agree with the subjects and that you use the correct tense when describing past trends.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.