Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph present the data about the numbers of employment in ( manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) sectors of the economy in the US form 1960 to 2020.
Overall, over the period of time healthcare and retail sectors have secure more jobs than manufacturing and agriculture sector. The jobs in healthcare sector have a increasing trend form the beginning of the period.
At the beginning of the period, in the healthcare sector the jobs were only 2 million but at the end of the period the jobs were largely increase form 2million to 15million. In retail sector also there was a increasing trend the jobs were goes form about 6 million to more than 15 million which is also greatly increase.
Both manufacturing and retail sector faced downward trend, in manufacturing sector the jobs were highest at 1960 but in 2020 the number of job decrease from 15 million to about 13 million. The jobs in agriculture sector were 6 million at the beginning of the period but at the end of the period there were only 2 million job in this sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the statement that 'manufacturing and retail sector faced downward trend' is factually incorrect based on the provided graph, as the retail sector shows a clear upward trend. The overview is present but lacks sufficient detail to fully highlight the most significant differences or key periods of change. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are described with greater precision and that the summary accurately reflects the visual information provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'at the beginning of the period', 'at the end of the period'). There is a lack of sophisticated linking words to connect ideas within and between sentences. While the progression of information is generally clear, the referencing is occasionally imprecise, and the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of transition signals to create a more cohesive narrative.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There is a reliance on basic verbs like 'increase' and 'decrease', and some word choices are awkward or incorrect, such as 'secure more jobs' instead of 'accounted for more jobs' or 'largely increase' instead of 'increased significantly'. Spelling errors, such as 'form' instead of 'from', also occur. To improve, focus on using more varied synonyms for trends and ensuring accurate collocations when describing economic data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('The line graph present', 'the jobs were goes'), incorrect preposition usage, and tense inconsistencies. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of parentheses and commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be beneficial.
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