Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph present the data about the numbers of employment in ( manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) sectors of the economy in the US form 1960 to 2020.
Overall, over the period of time healthcare and retail sectors have secure more jobs than manufacturing and agriculture sector. The jobs in healthcare sector have a increasing trend form the beginning of the period.
At the beginning of the period, in the healthcare sector the jobs were only 2 million but at the end of the period the jobs were largely increase form 2million to 15million. In retail sector also there was a increasing trend the jobs were goes form about 6 million to more than 15 million which is also greatly increase.
Both manufacturing and retail sector faced downward trend, in manufacturing sector the jobs were highest at 1960 but in 2020 the number of job decrease from 15 million to about 13 million. The jobs in agriculture sector were 6 million at the beginning of the period but at the end of the period there were only 2 million job in this sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that the manufacturing sector faced a downward trend, yet you describe the 1960 figure as 15 million and the 2020 figure as 13 million, which is a decline, but you also incorrectly group the retail sector with manufacturing as having a 'downward trend' when the graph clearly shows retail increasing significantly. Additionally, the overview is slightly inaccurate regarding the retail sector's performance. To improve, ensure that your summary of the data is precise and that your overview captures the most significant trends without contradicting the visual evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. For example, the phrase 'at the beginning of the period' is used multiple times, which makes the flow feel a bit stilted. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Using a wider variety of linking words and referencing techniques would help improve the overall flow and coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely heavily on basic terms like 'increase' and 'decrease'. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'secure more jobs' instead of 'accounted for more jobs' and 'largely increase' instead of 'increased significantly'. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'soared', 'plummeted', 'fluctuated', or 'remained stable', and ensure that your word forms are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The line graph present', 'jobs were goes'), article usage (e.g., 'in healthcare sector'), and preposition errors. While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors prevent the writing from reaching a higher level of accuracy. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralization and verb tense consistency will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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