Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the data of job opportunities in four different sectors of the economy namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, healthcare and retail sectors outnumbered the manufacturing and agriculture sector. Also, least number of jobs were seen in the agriculture sector out of four job sectors.

It is clear from the graph that majority of jobs were found in manufacturing sector which was 15 million, followed by retail and healthcare sector which were approximately 5.2 million, and insignificant proportions represented for healthcare sector in 1960. After which manufacturing sector jobs rising until 1980 and then consistently declining to about 13 million in 2020.

On the other hand, jobs in retail sector rose significantly to 15 million in 2000 and reached their highest peak of about 15.1 million in 2020. While agriculture sector continuously falling until 2020 and remained the least occupied sector. Although healthcare had the less number of jobs in the beginning but it surpassed all the sectors and rose dramatically to nearly 15.1 million jobs in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the decline in manufacturing and the rise in healthcare. However, there are some inaccuracies in your reporting of the data; for instance, you state that the manufacturing sector started at 15 million in 1960, whereas the graph shows it closer to 17 million. Additionally, your description of the healthcare sector's starting point is slightly confusing. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are read with greater precision and that the overview clearly highlights the most significant shifts over the entire period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand,' 'Although,' and 'followed by' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by mechanical phrasing, such as 'After which manufacturing sector jobs rising,' which lacks a proper subject or verb structure. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the trends, but the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'outnumbered,' 'insignificant proportions,' and 'surpassed.' There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'least number of jobs were seen' (should be 'the fewest') and 'had the less number of jobs' (should be 'had the fewest'). While you attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary, some phrasing remains slightly repetitive or imprecise. To improve, focus on using more precise quantifiers and ensuring that your collocations are natural, such as using 'the lowest number of jobs' instead of 'least number.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, particularly with verb forms and articles. For example, 'manufacturing sector jobs rising' should be 'manufacturing sector jobs rose,' and 'majority of jobs were found in manufacturing sector' requires an article ('the manufacturing sector'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and missing auxiliary verbs. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, they occur frequently enough to limit your score in this criterion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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