Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrates selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant .
Overall , Manufacturing fluctuated between 1960 - 2020 . Retail increased gradually while agriculture decreased steadily .
Healthcare increased gradually such as Retail .
Manufacturing started at 15 millions than increased steadily and finally remained between 10 and 15 million . Retail and Agriculture started at approximately 5 million after that Retail increased to 15 million in 2020 . Agriculture decreased to almost 0 in 2020 . Healthcare and retail reached at 15 million in 2020 . Healthcare started at between 0 and 5 million and increased rapidly. İn addition , Agriculture remaind unchanged between 1980 - 2000 .
In 1960, manufacturing had the highest number of jobs , at around 15 million . By 2020 , retail and healthcare had become the largest sectors, while agriculture had the lowest number of jobs .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph and identifies key trends. However, the introduction is problematic as it copies the task instructions rather than paraphrasing the prompt. While the main features are highlighted, the analysis lacks depth in comparing the sectors effectively. The data points provided are sometimes imprecise (e.g., 'remained between 10 and 15 million' for Manufacturing is vague given the graph's clarity). To reach a higher band, you should provide a clear overview that synthesizes the data rather than just listing trends, and ensure that all data descriptions are accurate and specific.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into short paragraphs, but the flow between sentences is disjointed. There is a lack of logical progression; for instance, the jump between describing Manufacturing and then Retail/Agriculture feels abrupt. Cohesive devices are used sparingly and sometimes incorrectly, such as the repetitive use of 'increased' and 'started at'. The paragraphing is present but does not effectively group related information, making the text feel like a list of observations rather than a cohesive report. Using a wider variety of linking words like 'conversely', 'in contrast', or 'meanwhile' would improve the logical flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is functional but limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on basic verbs like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'started'. There is little attempt to use more sophisticated or precise vocabulary to describe trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined sharply'). Some word choices are awkward, such as 'reached at 15 million' (the preposition 'at' is unnecessary here). To improve, focus on learning collocations for describing graphs, such as 'a steady decline' or 'a significant rise', and avoid repeating the same verbs in every sentence.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'Agriculture remaind unchanged'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing like 'such as Retail' to compare trends. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas and periods. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors occur throughout the text and indicate a lack of control over complex sentence forms. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will help improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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