Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph compares the number of jobs among the four sectors of the economy between 1960 and 2020, in the US.
Overall, manufacturing jobs accounted the highest number of jobs initially, whereas fewer opportunities were available for healthcare. In comparison, retail and agricultural jobs had the same beginning point, one experienced growth while the other declined continuously throughout the timeline.
Furthermore, the figure for the healthcare sector rose steadily from 1960 to 2020, reaching a peak of 15 million in the latter year. However, agricultural sector plateaued between 1980 and 2000, and then dropped slightly under 3 million. On the other hand, the line graph for manufacturing declined till 2020, before peaking at 20 million by 1960. Retail occupations recorded a significant growth over the period, while the healthcare sector started at a lower point but it still managed to match their number of jobs. The healthcare area accounted for the lowest beginning point, whereas the ones starting at a higher point dropped below the graph of the others.
To conclude, US experienced a huge change regarding the number of jobs from 1960 till 2020 among the four posts.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare. However, the report contains factual inaccuracies that hinder the task achievement. For instance, you state that manufacturing 'peaked at 20 million by 1960' and then declined, but the graph shows it starting at a lower point and rising before declining. Additionally, the description of the retail and agricultural sectors is confusing and contradicts the visual data. To improve, ensure that your data points are accurately transcribed from the graph and that you clearly distinguish between the four sectors to avoid ambiguity.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, including an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'However', and 'On the other hand' to link ideas. However, the progression of information is sometimes confusing, particularly in the third paragraph where the comparison between sectors becomes muddled. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as when you refer to 'the ones starting at a higher point' without explicitly naming the sectors. Improving the clarity of your comparisons will help the reader follow your analysis more effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'accounted for', 'plateaued', and 'significant growth'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'four posts' (which is inappropriate for economic sectors) and 'accounted the highest number' (missing the preposition 'for'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the general meaning, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band. Focusing on using sector-specific terminology and ensuring correct preposition usage will enhance your lexical score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'The given line graph compares...' and 'While the healthcare sector started at a lower point but it still managed to match...'. There are several grammatical errors, including the redundant use of 'but' after 'while', and issues with article usage (e.g., 'US experienced a huge change'). Some sentences are slightly awkward, which occasionally impacts the flow. To reach a higher band, focus on reducing these minor errors and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed with greater grammatical precision.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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