Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The Graph below gives the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Here is the summarise version of the given graph in 1960's Healthcare sector observe very few jobs around 2.5 million approx. where we see gradually shift in 1980's at 5 million jobs and after 2 decades in 2000, 11 million approx. jobs arises the graph and in the end of the graph in 2020, 16 millions of jobs are in demand.
Where we see Agriculture side so here we can see 6 million in 1960's in initial time, in 1980's where we see a decline in the jobs where 3 million approx jobs are in the market due to economy crash and after 2 decades in 2000 jobs demand remain constant to 3 million approx and in 2020, their slightly decline to 2.5 million jobs available in the market.
In the Graph Retail sector having a good growth as compare to the Agriculture and healthcare. In retails in 1960's 6 million jobs are in the market after 2 decades it goes slight better to 10 million and af
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is incomplete, as it cuts off mid-sentence, which prevents a full overview of the data. While you have identified some main features for the Healthcare and Agriculture sectors, the lack of a clear summary or conclusion and the failure to cover all sectors (Retail is incomplete, and the fourth sector is missing entirely) significantly impacts the score. To improve, ensure you provide a clear overview of the main trends and complete the description for all categories presented in the graph. The current response fails to address all parts of the task due to the unfinished nature of the writing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is difficult to follow due to the abrupt ending and fragmented structure. While there is an attempt to organize the information by sector, the lack of cohesive devices makes the transition between ideas feel mechanical. The paragraphing is present, but the logical progression is interrupted by the incomplete text. To improve, use linking words such as 'in contrast,' 'furthermore,' or 'consequently' to connect your observations. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the overall structure leads to a coherent summary of the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and limited. Phrases like 'jobs in the market' and 'approx' are used frequently, which reduces the sophistication of the writing. There are also some awkward phrasings, such as 'jobs arises the graph' and 'in initial time.' To reach a higher band, try to vary your vocabulary by using synonyms and more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' or 'experienced a significant increase.' Focusing on accurate collocations will also help improve the clarity and professional tone of your report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('observe' instead of 'observed'), missing articles, and awkward sentence structures ('in 1960's 6 million jobs are in the market'). The sentence construction is often simplistic, and there is a lack of complex structures. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions when describing time periods and data points. Proofreading for basic errors like '1960's' (should be 1960s) will also help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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