Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The Graph has mainly four sectors of economy and it is showing the number of jobs in the four sectors from [redacted phone].
In the early 1960s the manufacturing industry had a total number of 15 million jobs which gradually increased to 20 million over the decade,then it started detoriating over the next 2 decades and were reduced to approx 12 million in the year 2020.
The retail Industry was suffering in the beginning and there were less jobs approx 6-7 million but over the years,the number of jobs increased to 15 million in 2020.
The agriculture Industry has been suffering badly over the years as the number of jobs are declining rapidly in comparison to other Industries.
The Healthcare Industry has shown a great positive result when compared to all three Industries as the number of jobs have increased from 3 million to 15 million.
Among the four Industries Healthcare is the the only sector which has shown stable growth over the years adn therefore is much better than other industries.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify trends, you lack a clear overview of the main features, such as the overall shift from manufacturing to service-based sectors. The descriptions are often repetitive, using phrases like 'suffering' or 'positive result' which are subjective rather than analytical. To improve, focus on grouping the data logically—for example, contrasting the declining sectors (manufacturing and agriculture) with the growing ones (healthcare and retail). Ensure you provide specific data points to support all claims, as some comparisons lack the necessary precision required for an Academic Task 1 response.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into short paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is mechanical. You rely on simple sentence structures to list information about each industry rather than using cohesive devices to link the trends together. There is a lack of transition between the paragraphs, making the text feel like a list of bullet points rather than a cohesive report. To improve, use linking words such as 'In contrast,' 'Conversely,' or 'Meanwhile' to show the relationship between the different sectors. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher levels. You use repetitive phrasing, such as 'number of jobs' and 'industries,' throughout the text. Words like 'detoriating' (spelling error: deteriorating) and 'suffering' are not ideal for describing economic data; more formal terms like 'declined,' 'contracted,' or 'experienced a downward trend' would be more appropriate. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of collocations related to trends and economic shifts, and ensure you check your spelling carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. For example, 'The Graph has mainly four sectors' is awkward phrasing, and there are issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'the number of jobs are declining' (should be 'is declining'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to lower the score. Focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and improving your control over sentence punctuation.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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