Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The provided line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing field had an increasing figures at an initial stage, it faced a drop, while the Retail and Healthcare sector rose gradually until the end. Remaining, the agriculture sector decreased over the specified duration.

To began with, the manufacturing industries, it took a growth between two decades, with 20 millions, until 1980. From 1980 to 2020, the figures fell significantly, roughly 15 millions similar to the beginning. By 2020, it was approximately 12 to 13 millions. While, the Retail and healthcare departments stood a steady growth until 2020.

Initially, both the sectors were following the similar trend. By 1990, the retail jobs were 10 millions and 5 millions for healthcare. Over next two decades, the retail jobs increased up to 15 millions, while agriculture accounted for 11 millions. At the end, the retail sector ended up with same figures. Whereas, the agriculture department increased and recorded equally to the retail department.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, but the data reporting is often inaccurate or confusing. For instance, the description of the agriculture sector contradicts typical trends, and the claim that retail and healthcare 'followed the similar trend' is not supported by the visual data. The summary of the manufacturing sector is also imprecise, with figures that do not clearly align with the graph. While the overview identifies the main trends, the lack of precision in reporting the data points and the confusion between sectors significantly weakens the task achievement. To improve, ensure that data points are accurately read and that comparisons are logically sound.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'Remaining, the agriculture sector...' and 'To began with...'. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the final paragraph where the comparison between retail and agriculture becomes confusing. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would enhance the overall flow and logical progression of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'had an increasing figures' and 'stood a steady growth'. The student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'sectors' and 'economy', but the misuse of basic collocations limits the score. There is also some repetition of simple structures. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise verbs and nouns to describe trends, such as 'experienced a decline' instead of 'faced a drop', and ensure that collocations are used correctly to convey information more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'To began with' (incorrect verb form), 'the manufacturing industries, it took a growth' (faulty sentence structure), and 'recorded equally to the retail department' (incorrect usage). Punctuation is generally functional, but the misuse of articles and prepositions is noticeable throughout. While the meaning is usually retrievable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.

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