Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The multiple line graph illustrates the data regarding the distinctive jobs in the four sector of economy in the US within the time frame of six decades starting from 1960 to 2020.

Considering from an overall perspective, it is observed that the number of jobs are increasing over the period of Retail and Healthcare Sector, whereas the Manufacture and Agriculture jobs are decreasing.

To begin with, nearly 6 million jobs were recorded for Retail market in 1960 and it was steadily rising over the period and in 2000 it was at 15 millions and stood at nearly 16 millions in 2020. In contrast, Healthcare industry was accounted for around 3 million jobs in the starting year and same as Retail business this was also rising continuously and there are approximately 11 millions jobs in 2000 and surprisingly in the final year the job numbers of Healthcare sector was same as Retail sector with 16 million jobs.

Furthermore, 15 million jobs were counted for Manufacturing industry in 1960, which then witnessed the highest number with 20 millions job in 1980 before experiencing the continuous downfall to nearly 13 millions. However, in 1960, Jobs for Agriculture was also same as the Manufacturing industry. The numbers of job were gradually decreasing over the period and it was at around 3 millions in 1980 and it remained relatively stable and the jobs were stood at below 3 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. You have successfully highlighted the key features, such as the growth in Retail and Healthcare and the decline in Manufacturing and Agriculture. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the overall patterns. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurate; for instance, you mentioned Manufacturing and Agriculture started at the same level in 1960, which is a good comparative observation. However, ensure that your data reporting is precise, as some figures could be more clearly linked to the specific years provided in the graph to avoid minor inaccuracies.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into four paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on the two pairs of sectors. The progression of ideas is generally smooth. You use cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', and 'However' to link your points. To improve, try to vary your cohesive devices further and ensure that the referencing is always precise. Some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would further enhance the logical flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'distinctive', 'witnessed', 'downfall', and 'relatively stable'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'the number of jobs are increasing' (should be 'is increasing') and 'Healthcare industry was accounted for' (should be 'accounted for'). Additionally, there are minor errors in pluralization, such as 'four sector' instead of 'four sectors'. To achieve a higher score, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring grammatical agreement between subjects and verbs when using specific vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. Examples include 'the number of jobs are increasing' (subject-verb agreement), 'the jobs were stood at' (incorrect passive voice), and 'Healthcare industry was accounted for' (incorrect passive construction). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the score. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive versus active voice when describing trends in data.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.