Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line chart compares number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. The different years are on X-axis. The Y-axis have number of jobs in millions.
Overall, it can be observed that manufacturing sector had the the highest number of jobs in 1980. However, in the same year agriculture had least opportunities.
Furthermore, healthcare sector had rose the jobs in their sector from around 2.5 million to a little above 15 million in 2020. Moreover retail sector had also similar trend and climbed up to same number from roughly around 5.3 million jobs in 1960.
To sum up, manufacturing was at its peak in 1980 but it had a downfall in the jobs and was at the third position in the chart with approximately 12.5 million jobs in 2020. In the same time period healthcare sector had a good bump in their jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify the peak of manufacturing and the growth in healthcare and retail, you fail to provide a comprehensive overview of the agriculture sector, which is a key component of the data. Furthermore, the description of the trends lacks precision; for instance, stating that the retail sector had a 'similar trend' to healthcare is vague. To improve, ensure you include data points for all four categories and provide a more detailed comparison of the changes over the 60-year period, rather than focusing only on specific years.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', 'To sum up'). The progression of ideas is occasionally disjointed; for example, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as when you mention 'in the same time period' without clearly linking it back to the specific decade or trend being discussed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring clear logical flow between sentences would enhance the score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'had rose the jobs' (which is grammatically incorrect) and 'had a good bump'. There is a lack of sophisticated collocations or topic-specific vocabulary related to economic trends. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise verbs and nouns to describe data, such as 'experienced a significant increase', 'fluctuated', or 'remained stagnant'. Avoid informal expressions like 'good bump' in an academic report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'had rose the jobs' (incorrect tense/verb form), 'the the highest' (repetition), and 'Y-axis have number of jobs' (subject-verb agreement). Additionally, there are missing articles throughout the text (e.g., 'in manufacturing sector', 'in retail sector'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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