Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line chart compares the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. The different years are on the X-axis. The Y-axis has the number of jobs in millions.

Overall, it can be observed that the manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs in 1980. However, in the same year agriculture had the least opportunities.

Furthermore, the healthcare sector had risen the jobs in their sector from around 2.5 million to a little above 15 million in 2020. Moreover the retail sector had also a similar trend and climbed up to same number from roughly around 5.3 million jobs in 1960.

To sum up, manufacturing was at its peak in 1980 but it had a downfall in the jobs and was at the third position in the chart with approximately 12.5 million jobs in 2020. In the same time period the healthcare sector had a good bump in their jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, but it lacks a comprehensive overview of the trends. While you mention the peak of manufacturing and the growth in healthcare, you fail to provide a clear summary of the overall shifts in the economy over the 60-year period. Some data points are missing or described vaguely, such as the 'least opportunities' in agriculture without specifying the year. To improve, ensure you compare all four sectors more systematically and include more precise data points from the start, middle, and end of the period to support your descriptions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the logical progression is somewhat disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is present (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', 'To sum up'), but they are sometimes used mechanically or inappropriately, such as using 'To sum up' to introduce a new specific detail about manufacturing rather than a concluding summary. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother to better connect the comparisons between the four sectors.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety expected at higher bands. Phrases like 'had a good bump' are too informal for an academic report. You rely on repetitive structures when describing trends, such as 'had the highest number of jobs' and 'had a similar trend'. To achieve a higher score, incorporate more varied and precise academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'experienced a steady decline', or 'surpassed'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical inaccuracies that occasionally hinder clarity, such as 'had risen the jobs in their sector' (incorrect verb usage) and 'in the same time period the healthcare sector had a good bump in their jobs' (missing comma and awkward phrasing). While the meaning is generally clear, the control over complex structures is inconsistent. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and more accurate prepositional usage would improve the overall accuracy of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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