Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given Line graph provides information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
As we see there are four different lines that represent different sector. In 1960 the highest serving sector is Manufacturing and Agriculture and Retail are equal providers. But as we move forward the Manufacture, Healthcare and Retail sectors keeps on growing from 1960 to 1980 while jobs in Agriculture sector start to fall. Later we discovered the service sector plays in economic growth while the Manufacturing sector does not keep the pace and the jobs in Manufacturing sector starts to decline after 1980.
Hence, we concluded that as the time passes the economy of the US is more dependent on service sector such as Retail and Healthcare rather than primary sectors such as Agriculture and Manufacturing. But Manufacturing still shares a major part in the economy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a basic overview of the trends but lacks the necessary detail required for a high band score. While you identify the general movement of the four sectors, you fail to provide specific data points (years or job numbers) to support your claims. The task requires a clear selection of main features and comparisons; however, the description is quite vague, using phrases like 'as we move forward' instead of specific timeframes. To improve, you must incorporate specific figures from the graph to illustrate the magnitude of change, such as the peak numbers for Manufacturing or the exact year the Agriculture sector began its decline. The summary is present but lacks the analytical depth needed to fully satisfy the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into three short paragraphs, which provides a basic structure. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat mechanical. The use of cohesive devices is limited, relying heavily on simple transitions like 'Hence' and 'But'. There is a lack of variety in linking words, and some sentences feel disconnected. For instance, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is abrupt. To improve, you should use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'furthermore') to better connect your sentences and ensure a smoother flow of information throughout the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but remains quite repetitive and basic. You frequently use general terms like 'growing', 'falling', and 'different', which do not demonstrate the precision required for describing data trends. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'highest serving sector' and 'does not keep the pace'. To achieve a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surpassed', or 'remained stable'. Expanding your range of descriptive language will help you convey the information more effectively and professionally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('the Manufacture, Healthcare and Retail sectors keeps on growing') and tense inconsistencies ('Later we discovered the service sector plays...'). Additionally, there are punctuation and article errors, such as missing 'the' before 'Agriculture sector'. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors limits the score. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage (using the past tense for historical data) will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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