Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given chart illustrates the information regarding the number of jobs in various sectors of the economy in the USA over a period from 1960 to 2020.
As seen in the graph, manufacturing sector has remained on the top of the graph indicating the highest number of jobs in manufacturing sector, till the year 2000 and in the year 1980 showed a peak point of number of jobs i.e., 20 million in manufacturing sector, thereafter number jobs in it started declining and fell below 15 million jobs by the year 2020.Similarly, there was significant fall in the number of jobs in the agriculture sector it went from above 5 million jobs in the year 1960 to about 2.5 million jobs by the 2020.
Furthermore, a similar pattern is noticed between retail sector and healthcare sector, both the sectors took boost over the years and met the same point which indicates 15 million jobs in the year 2020.
To conclude, various changes in number of jobs occurred over the year.Firstly, retail sector and healthcare sector showed increase in number of jobs.Whereas, manufacturing sector and agriculture sector showed decrease in the number of jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the convergence of the retail and healthcare sectors by 2020. However, the response could be improved by including more specific data points for the start and end years to better support your descriptions. Additionally, the overview is somewhat brief; a more comprehensive summary of the overall trends (e.g., the shift from manufacturing/agriculture to service-based sectors) would strengthen the response. Overall, you have addressed the requirements of the task well.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs for trends, and a concluding summary. You use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore', 'Similarly', and 'To conclude' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel slightly abrupt. The referencing is generally clear, but the internal structure of the second paragraph is a bit repetitive with the phrasing 'number of jobs in...'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would help elevate the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'declining', 'significant fall', and 'boost'. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly the frequent use of 'number of jobs'. To achieve a higher band, you should incorporate more varied synonyms such as 'employment figures', 'workforce', or 'job opportunities'. There are also minor issues with word choice, such as 'took boost', which is not a standard collocation. Expanding your range of descriptive verbs and nouns related to data trends will improve your lexical score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that occasionally affect the flow. For example, 'manufacturing sector has remained on the top' should be 'the manufacturing sector remained at the top', and 'in the year 1980 showed a peak point' lacks a clear subject. There are also some missing articles (e.g., 'in retail sector') and punctuation issues, such as missing spaces after commas. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the message, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and attention to article usage and sentence construction.
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