Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph demonstrates information related to jobs in four different category of the economy the United States in a time frame from 1960 to 2020. We will make necessary comparison and discuss the main highlights in the below paragraphs for various fields.
Initially, manufacturing jobs were available as the highest in the market while healthcare had the lowest number of jobs in 1960. Over the span of eight decades, healthcare sector opportunities has drastically grown to a huge extent and has been similar to the retail jobs in 2020 having about 15 million jobs.
On contrary the, the agriculture job openings has remained constant through the year with an average about 5 million jobs in market with a slightest decline over the years.
To summarize, retail and healthcare job openings have increased during these years whereas, the agriculture and manufacturing has declined through out the 80 years of time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is quite superficial. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector is inaccurate, as the graph shows a significant decline, which you mention, but you fail to provide specific data points to support your summary. Furthermore, the statement that healthcare and retail were 'similar' in 2020 is a good observation, but the overall report lacks the depth required for a higher band. You need to include more specific data points (e.g., starting and ending figures) to better illustrate the trends and make more meaningful comparisons between the sectors throughout the period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as 'On contrary the, the agriculture...'. The progression of ideas is logical, but the transitions between sentences could be smoother. The introductory paragraph is slightly informal with the phrase 'We will make necessary comparison', which is not appropriate for an Academic Task 1 response. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range expected at higher levels. You rely on repetitive phrasing such as 'number of jobs' and 'job openings'. There are also some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'category of the economy' (should be 'sectors of the economy') and 'slightest decline' (which is not the best fit for describing a trend). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'plummeted', 'fluctuated', or 'remained stagnant', and ensure you use the correct terminology for economic sectors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader, such as 'healthcare sector opportunities has drastically grown' (subject-verb agreement error) and 'through out the 80 years of time' (should be '60 years'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some errors, such as the double 'the' in 'On contrary the, the agriculture'. While the meaning is usually clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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