Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This graph depicts main features of various sectors in th US economy which includes jobs relevant information about rise and fall in employment ratio in the year 1960 and 2020.

In addition ,there are four sectors in the America represent manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.In the year 1960 the manufacturing department play very important role in employment which shows 15% rise and it start to increase more in the year 1980.but its start falling in year 2000 due to lack of jobs and skilled worker that is why economical growth falls made up of 12%.The retail department brings positive changes in jobs sectors .In the year 1960 its start working from 5% and it is continously increase from the year 1980 and moving forward towords development constituted 15%.This sectors implement effective role in jobs for economical awareness of organization. On the other hand agriculture department fluctuates according to given data from 5% to 2.5% deceed in the year 1980 and shows stabilized no development.Its level remain same till the year 2020 due to less workers and jobs availability.Healthcare sector is very important for US organization.Therefore jobs opportunity start exceeding with certain interval of time and substantial increasing jobs develop and implement specific rules and it comrised of 15% in the year 2020

The significant change in society and above four sectors shows moderate change and rise and fall according to graph values.As a result healthcare sector improved and more jobs vacancies are available for example nurse ,doctors etc.It will explore whole organization.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to summarize the data but struggles with accuracy and clarity. While you identify the four sectors, the description of trends is often confusing or factually inconsistent with the provided graph (e.g., stating manufacturing 'shows 15% rise' in 1960, which is not supported by the data). The overview is missing, and the conclusion introduces external information about nurses and doctors, which is not present in the graph. To improve, focus on identifying the most significant trends—such as the steady decline of agriculture versus the growth of healthcare—and ensure your data points are accurately transcribed from the visual information.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of cohesive devices. Transitions like 'In addition' and 'On the other hand' are used, but they often fail to connect ideas smoothly. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to follow the progression of the argument. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'furthermore') and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, clear theme to help the reader navigate your analysis.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive or misused. Phrases like 'economical awareness of organization' and 'stabilized no development' are unclear and do not accurately describe the data. There are also issues with word choice, such as using 'department' instead of 'sector' and 'comrised' (spelling error). To reach a higher band, focus on using precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'decline', 'peak', and 'plateau', and ensure you are using collocations correctly in the context of economic data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing department play'), tense consistency (e.g., 'its start working'), and punctuation (e.g., missing spaces after commas). Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that verbs agree with their subjects and that tenses are used consistently when describing past data.

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