Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line chart illustrate the number of employment in four sectors of the economy in US from 1960 to 2020
Overall, four sector: manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare. During this time period manufacturing and agriculture job market was falling while retail and healthcare field profession was growing in 60 years.
In 1960, manufacturing and agriculture field respectively about 15 and 6 millions jobs. After that in 1980 manufacturing job market was increasing at 20 millions while agriculture field jobs was falling at 4millions. In 2000 agriculture field jobs same as previous years but manufacturing sector job was decline at 17million. Then both sector jobs were decline in 2020 manufacturing at14million jobs and agriculture field at 2million jobs.
retail and healthcare sector were grow up slightly. In 1960 retail and healthcare sector jobs at 3 millions and 6 millions. They go up in 1980 retail at 10millions and healthcare 5 millions. Moreover both sector jobs go up in 2000 and 2020 respectively 15millions jobs to 16million jobs and 11million jobs to 16million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, though the reporting of data is inconsistent. While you identify the main trends (manufacturing/agriculture declining, retail/healthcare growing), the data points are often inaccurate or confusingly presented. For example, you state manufacturing increased to 20 million in 1980, which contradicts the visual data. Additionally, the description of the trends lacks precision, and some figures are misread. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference the graph axes with your written figures and focus on highlighting the most significant changes rather than listing every data point, which can lead to inaccuracies.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between sentences is often mechanical and lacks logical progression. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes repetitive (e.g., 'In 1960', 'In 1980', 'In 2000'). The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison of trends. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words such as 'conversely', 'in contrast', or 'subsequently' to connect your ideas more fluidly and improve the logical structure of your report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'jobs', 'sector', and 'field'. There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'job market was falling' instead of 'employment numbers declined' and 'retail and healthcare sector were grow up'. These errors occasionally cause the reader to pause. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'witnessed a downward trend', or 'experienced significant growth'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you describe the data more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The line chart illustrate', 'retail and healthcare sector were grow up') and tense usage. Sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods and inconsistent capitalization. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar structures limits the score. Focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and using a mix of simple and complex sentences to improve your accuracy and range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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