Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the information about the numbers of jobs in different sectors such as Manufacturing, Retail , Agriculture and Healthcare In the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall the the number of jobs in Manufacturing and Agriculture experienced downward trend, while the Retail and Healthcare sector showed upward trend.
In the initial year , the jobs market of Manufacturing , Agriculture and Retail noticed gradual increase until 1980 at approximately 2.5 , 6 and 15 million jobs . After that in Manufacturing sector drop down in jobs were noticed till 2020 nearly at 12.5 millions. Furthermore, in Retail sector a surge in job is noticed till 2020.
On the remaining details, Healthcare sector shows rise in jobs till 2020 .
Moreover, Agriculture sector shows decline in number of jobs in 1980 which are 2.5 million less from initial year. After that it shows minor upsurge and then stables at 2020 with 2 millions jobs approximately.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a general overview and identifies some key trends, but it fails to report the data accurately. For instance, the description of the Manufacturing sector is confusing, and the claim that Agriculture increased until 1980 is not supported by the graph, which shows a decline from the start. The data points mentioned (e.g., 2.5, 6, and 15 million) are not clearly linked to specific sectors or years, making the report difficult to follow. To improve, you must ensure that the figures cited are precise and clearly attributed to the correct category and timeframe. The overview is present but lacks the necessary detail to fully capture the main features of the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate, such as 'On the remaining details,' which is not a standard way to introduce a new point. The referencing is also unclear; for example, it is difficult to determine which sector the '15 million' figure refers to. The flow between sentences is often disjointed, making it hard for the reader to follow the comparison of trends over the 60-year period. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring clear transitions between sentences would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'increase,' 'rise,' and 'decline.' While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'sectors' and 'jobs market,' the phrasing is often unnatural, such as 'drop down in jobs were noticed.' There are also some minor errors in word choice and collocation. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more precise academic vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' or 'remained stable.' Focusing on collocations, such as 'a downward trend' rather than 'experienced downward trend,' will also improve your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in Manufacturing sector'), incorrect verb forms ('stables' instead of 'stabilised'), and awkward sentence construction ('the number of jobs in Manufacturing and Agriculture experienced downward trend'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas. While these errors do not completely prevent understanding, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. You should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles to improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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