Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the data of the jobs in four departments of the economy in the United state from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing sector had highest numbers of jobs as compare to others all sectors, specially from agriculture.

In 1960, manufacturing sectors had 15 million jobs ,it was highest as compare to the others sectors, like healthcare created around 2 million jobs. Others sectors in like healthcare gradually increase d the rate of jobs creation at the end of session 2020, and retail sectors same as surged the numbers of jobs. Agriculture was the only sector cutdown the jobs opportunity during the 80 years.

In 1980, manufacturing had the highest rate of jobs 20 million, and then plummeted to around 16 million in 2000, and then

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. Furthermore, the essay is incomplete, ending abruptly mid-sentence. While you identify some main features, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in healthcare, the analysis is underdeveloped. You do not provide a comprehensive overview of all four sectors, and the lack of a conclusion or a fully developed body paragraph means the task is only partially addressed. To improve, ensure you complete the analysis for all data points and provide a clear, balanced summary of the trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear logical progression due to its incomplete nature. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the transition between the introduction and the body is weak. Cohesive devices are used in a mechanical and sometimes inaccurate way, such as 'Others sectors in like healthcare'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the lack of a concluding sentence makes the overall structure feel disjointed. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'furthermore') and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the data.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic phrasing. There are several inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'cutdown the jobs opportunity' instead of 'experienced a decline in job opportunities' and 'at the end of session 2020'. The use of 'departments' to describe economic sectors is also imprecise. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'witnessed a significant upward trend', and avoid informal or awkward phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include incorrect article usage ('the United state', 'the manufacturing sectors'), subject-verb agreement errors ('Manufacturing sector had highest numbers'), and awkward sentence structures. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically the correct use of articles and pluralization. Once these are consistent, practice incorporating complex sentences using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions to demonstrate a wider range.

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