Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the USA between 1960 and 2020.

After analysing, it is evident that 15 million jobs were noticed in the manufacturing sector in the year 1960, which further increased to 20 million in 1980. After that, occupation in manufacturing industry was significantly decreased till 2020, as noticed as 13 million. The number of retail jobs was 6 million in 1960, which increased with zig-zag pattern till 2000 that was 15 million, further increased to 17 million occupation in 2020.

Moving towards rest of the information, 6 million people involved in agricultural activities in 1960, which decreased to 3 million in 1980. The number of people involved in agriculture in 2020 noticed as 2 million. Moreover, 3 million people job was employed in healthcare sector in 1960, which was increased with massive number of 5 million in 1980 and 17 million in 2020.

Overall, it is clearly seen that in the initial years maximum people was involved in manufacturing industry, whereas in the ending years maximum people was involved in health care sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture and the significant growth in healthcare. However, the report lacks a more analytical approach to comparisons. For example, you could have explicitly compared the starting and ending points of the sectors to highlight the shift in the economy. The data points are generally accurate, but the description of the 'zig-zag' pattern for retail is a bit informal. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview clearly synthesises the data rather than just listing the changes for each sector individually.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organised into paragraphs, with each sector or group of sectors receiving its own section. The use of cohesive devices like 'After analysing', 'Moving towards', and 'Moreover' helps guide the reader through the information. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using more varied linking phrases. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall progression of information is easy to follow, moving from manufacturing to retail and then to the other sectors.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends, using terms like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'involved in'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'occupation in manufacturing industry was significantly decreased' and '3 million people job was employed'. These errors occasionally make the phrasing sound unnatural. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations, such as 'employment in the manufacturing sector' rather than 'occupation in manufacturing industry'. The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage (e.g., 'maximum people was involved', 'the healthcare sector'). Some sentences are slightly clunky, such as 'which was increased with massive number of 5 million'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do indicate a need for more careful proofreading. To improve, focus on mastering basic agreement rules and using more varied complex structures, such as relative clauses or passive voice, with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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