Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
This graph is showing the relation of jobs in market and with passage of year. The data took from year lf 1960 to 2020. This data is taken in US and this shows jobs in four sectors of the economy. This four sectors include manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. In 1960 healthcare sectors job demands was not more than 5 millions but in 2020 its demand jumps from 3 millions to 17 millions or near to 20 millions. It is really a greater raised of this sector and with this raise there is another sector that is retail but retail demands was more than 5 millions in 1960 and reached UpTo 20 millions in 2020. One sector in this graph showing decrease in demand that is agriculture it decreased from more than 5 millions to less than million but more than a one million in 2020. The other sectoret that is also decrease in demand that is manufacturing but this demand was really high in 1960 because it was in demand near or more than 15 millions and it reached UpTo 20 millions in 1980 but eventually this demands decrease in 2020 but not less than 10 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the overview is missing, which is a critical requirement for Task 1. The description of the data is somewhat repetitive and lacks a clear, analytical structure. While the key features are mentioned, the comparison between sectors is underdeveloped. For instance, the report describes each sector individually rather than grouping them by trend (e.g., those that increased versus those that decreased). To improve, ensure you include a clear summary paragraph that highlights the most significant trends at the beginning or end of the report.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is written as a single block of text, which makes it difficult to follow. Paragraphing is essential in IELTS writing to separate the introduction/overview from the body paragraphs. There is a lack of cohesive devices; the sentences are linked in a repetitive, mechanical way using 'and' or 'that is'. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed, as the transition between the different sectors feels abrupt. Using linking words such as 'In contrast,' 'Furthermore,' or 'Conversely' would significantly improve the flow and logical progression of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'demand was not more than' and 'reached UpTo' are used repeatedly, which restricts the range of language. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'greater raised' instead of 'significant increase' and 'sectoret' (a spelling error). To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider variety of verbs and nouns related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' 'plummeted,' or 'experienced a steady growth.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'This four sectors include'), article usage (e.g., 'in healthcare sectors job demands'), and tense consistency. The sentence structures are mostly simple or compound, with very few attempts at complex sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with run-on sentences that lack proper clause separation. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would help improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.