Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the amount of occupations in four economic fields in the US which is manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. This data is collected all over 60 year from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing, retail and healthcare started the peiod with an upward trend. After, manufacuring experienced a decline however, agriculture decrease steadly all over the years.

In the first year, manufacturing showed a linear increase from 15 millions to 20 millions in 1990

then, it dropped until reach less than 15 millions in 2020. Healthcare was at around 3 millions in the first year it rose until almost 10 millions in 2000 until hitting its highest point in 20

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the ability to fully develop the task. While you have identified the four sectors and provided some data points, the overview is incomplete and the description of trends is fragmented. Crucially, the response is unfinished, cutting off mid-sentence at the end. To improve, you must ensure you cover all sectors mentioned in the graph, provide a clear and complete overview of the main trends, and ensure the response is of sufficient length to allow for a full analysis of the data provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear logical progression due to the incomplete nature of the text. While you have attempted to use paragraphing, the transition between the introduction and the body is abrupt. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes misused, such as 'After,' which does not function well as a transition here. The lack of a concluding summary and the abrupt ending further hinder the flow of information. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'subsequently,' 'in contrast,' 'meanwhile') to connect your ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear purpose.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You use basic terms like 'amount of occupations' (which is inaccurate; 'number of jobs' is better) and 'first year' instead of 'the start of the period.' There are also issues with word choice, such as 'linear increase' to describe a curve. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' 'remained stable,' or 'a significant downward trend.' Expanding your range of synonyms will help you describe the graph more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('agriculture decrease steadly') and incorrect preposition usage ('at around 3 millions'). The sentence structures are mostly simple, and the attempt at a complex structure is marred by the incomplete ending. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring verbs agree with their subjects, and practicing the correct use of articles and prepositions when discussing numerical data.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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