Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about the employment of the different sectors of economy of the United States, such as Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare from the period of 60-years.

Overall, Retail and Agriculture began with low rate of jobs creation, and end with upwards trajectories . While Manufacturing and healthcare sectors exhibited the downward employment rate.

In 1960, Manufacturing showed the highest levels 15 million jobs , and rose dramatically to 20 million at the highest peak, and then declined steadily to around 13 million jobs. Conversely, Retail sector experienced consistent upward trajectories throughout the period from 5.5 million to 15 million. Same as, healthcare sector climbed steadily from 2 million jobs to 15 million. In contrast, Agriculture dipped slowly throughout the decades.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified the main trends for the four sectors, the analysis is quite brief and lacks the depth required for a higher band. For instance, you mention the peak for Manufacturing but do not provide specific data points for the other sectors at key intervals. To improve, ensure you provide a more comprehensive overview and include more specific data comparisons between the sectors to fully satisfy the requirements of an Academic Task 1 response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph. While there is a logical progression, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. Phrases like 'Same as' are not appropriate for formal writing and disrupt the flow. The transition between the overview and the body paragraph could be smoother. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and phrases such as 'In contrast to,' 'Furthermore,' or 'Subsequently' to better connect your ideas and improve the overall readability of the report.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range expected at higher bands. You rely on repetitive phrasing, such as 'upward trajectories' and 'jobs,' which limits the sophistication of your writing. There are also some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'employment of the different sectors' instead of 'employment in the different sectors.' To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more varied synonyms and precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' or 'surpassed.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect the clarity of your writing. For example, 'Retail and Agriculture began with low rate of jobs creation' is missing articles, and 'Same as, healthcare sector' is grammatically incorrect. Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as spaces before commas. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, the correct use of articles, and ensuring that your sentence structures are grammatically sound and punctuated correctly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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