Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
A glance at the graph illustrates information about number of corporate job in millions in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors of economy in the US from year 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing and Agriculture both experienced drop. Meanwhile, Retail and healthcare jobs rose .
Comparing all sectors, Manufacturing had the largest scale in 1960 amongst all others. On the other hand, Health care represents lowest jobs among all in 1960.
Moreover, manufacturing experienced grow up to 20 millions in 1980 . Whereas, healthcare also experienced grow up to 5 millions. Furthermore, Healthcare sector rose rapidly and reached to its highest peak in both 2000 and 2020 year. On the other hand , Manufacturing sector drop down significantly till 2020.
Apart from this, Both retail and agriculture were having 5 millions job in 1960 . After which, Agriculture decrease in 1980. Meanwhile, Retail experience growth in 1980. Thereafter, in 2000 and 2020 retail jobs rose moderately. Whereas, Agriculture, reported minimal changes.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. The overview is present but lacks a clear synthesis of the most significant changes. Some data points are imprecise, such as stating 'Manufacturing experienced grow up to 20 millions in 1980' when the graph shows a different trajectory. To improve, ensure that the data reported is accurate and that the comparison between sectors is more analytical rather than just listing figures. The response meets the minimum length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Meanwhile', 'On the other hand', and 'Furthermore'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. For instance, 'On the other hand' is used multiple times in close proximity, which disrupts the flow. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used naturally would elevate the score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat repetitive and lacks precision. Phrases like 'experienced grow' (should be 'growth') and 'drop down' are basic. There is an attempt to use sector-specific terminology, but the range is limited. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more varied vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'plummeted', 'surged', 'remained stable', or 'fluctuated'. Additionally, ensure that word forms are correct, as 'grow' was used as a noun instead of 'growth'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Common issues include missing articles ('in manufacturing', 'in 2000 and 2020 year'), incorrect verb forms ('Agriculture decrease', 'Retail experience growth'), and punctuation errors. These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader, though they do not fully impede communication. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, consistent use of articles, and ensuring that verb tenses are used correctly when describing past data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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