Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The graph demonstrates give us a statitacally detailed information about the four sectors of the economy in the us betwwen 1960 and 2020.

number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us,[redacted phone] given below:

1.manufacturing start in 1960 with 15 ,in 1980 increase in number 20,then decrease in slightly like 17 in number,afterthat in 2020 down to in number 13.

2.retail sectors are in 1960 in 5,and 1980 rise in number 10,in 2000 comparision in manufacturing 2 number back 15,2020 in noumber of job in retail is 17 .

3.agriculture in same in 1960 like retail 5 number,in 1980 decline into 3

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. Furthermore, the content is presented in a fragmented, list-like format rather than a cohesive report. The analysis is incomplete, as it fails to cover all four sectors mentioned in the prompt (only three are partially addressed) and lacks a clear overview or summary of the main trends. The data reporting is inaccurate and lacks the necessary synthesis required for an Academic Task 1 response. To improve, you must write in full paragraphs, provide a clear overview of the main trends, and ensure all data points are accurately described.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response lacks logical organization and progression. It is structured as a numbered list rather than an essay, which is inappropriate for this task. There is a complete absence of cohesive devices (such as 'however', 'consequently', or 'in contrast') to link ideas or sentences. The lack of paragraphing and the disjointed nature of the sentences make the information difficult to follow. To improve, you should use standard paragraph structures—an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs—and incorporate linking words to connect your observations.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'number' and 'increase' throughout the text. There are also frequent spelling errors, such as 'statitacally' and 'betwwen', and awkward phrasing like 'down to in number'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the data with precision. To improve, you should learn topic-specific vocabulary for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline', and focus on using more varied and accurate terminology.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammar is highly problematic, with frequent errors that often impede communication. There is a lack of sentence structure, as most points are written as fragments rather than complete sentences. Basic grammatical rules regarding subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions are consistently ignored (e.g., 'manufacturing start in 1960', 'retail sectors are in 1960 in 5'). There is no evidence of complex sentence structures. To improve, focus on writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and practice using correct tense forms for reporting past data.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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