Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph tracks down the changes across the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the US, from year 1960 to 2020. The four sectors include manufacturing، retail, agriculture and healthcare. According to the given data, healthcare shows most growth in hiring new workers, the retail sector followed the same pattern by the end of the observation period. However, agriculture got a decline in the number of workers while manufacturing faced an uprise in the early stages, followed by a downfall at the end.
Overall, the manufacturing sector had 15 million jobs in 1960 which went down to 13 million in 2020, following a hike up to 20 millions in 1980. Retail department experienced a continuous hike from 6 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020 with healthcare , depicting a similar pattern for growth from 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020. Regarding agriculture division, a downfall was observed as the number of workers was 6 million in 1960. Nevertheless, it came down to 2 million, by the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in agriculture. However, the analysis of the manufacturing sector is slightly inaccurate; the text states it went from 15 million to 13 million, but the graph shows a more complex trajectory. While the overview is present, it lacks a clear, synthesized comparison of the sectors at the start and end points, which is necessary for a higher band. The information is generally accurate, but the summary could be more analytical by grouping the sectors that showed growth versus those that declined.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into two paragraphs: an introduction/overview and a body paragraph. While the progression is logical, the transition between the overview and the specific data points is somewhat abrupt. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'However', 'Nevertheless', and 'Regarding', but some are used mechanically or slightly incorrectly in context. The paragraphing is sufficient, but the body paragraph is quite dense with figures, making it slightly difficult to follow the comparisons. Improving the use of referencing and varying the linking phrases would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like 'observation period', 'downfall', and 'hike' used to describe trends. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'tracks down the changes across the number of jobs' and 'retail department', which should be 'retail sector'. The use of 'uprise' is non-standard; 'rise' or 'increase' would be more appropriate. While the range is sufficient to convey the meaning, it lacks the precision and sophistication required for a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'changes across the number of jobs' (should be 'changes in the number of jobs') and 'retail sector followed the same pattern by the end' (which is a comma splice). Punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and spacing around punctuation marks. While the errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. More attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence boundary punctuation is needed.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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